Helicopter Jokes / Recent Jokes

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft''''s electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter''''s position and course to steer to the airport.

The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter''''s window. The pilot''''s sign said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters.

People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.

After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position.

The pilot responded "I knew more...

Steven Spielberg was filming his latest movie deep in the heart of the Amazon rain forest. The costs involved in transporting the multitude of movie making equipment to the site were immense. On top of that, he had a cast of thousands to feed and clothe. It was his most expensive production yet and he sank his entire personal fortune into the project.
The biggest expense was building an exact replica of an Ancient city in the middle of the jungle. No expense was spared to make the city authentic.
The climax of the movie was to be the complete destruction of the city in a dramatic fire. Since Spielberg planned to actually burn the city to the ground, there was only one chance to film it. He set up four cameras:
"Camera one, I want you up in the helicopter to get an overhead shot of the whole scene."
"Yes, boss."
"Camera two, I want you at the edge of the clearing for a medium range shot."
"Yes, boss."
"Camera more...

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport.

The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter's window. The pilot's sign said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters.

People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER OVER SEATTLE."

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to the Seattle airport, and landed safely.

After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position?

The pilot responded "I more...

There once was a flood and everyone had reached safety except for one man.

He climbed to the top of his house with the water lapping at his feet.

A helicopter flew over his head and hung down a rope for him to climb, but the man was deeply religious and said, "It's alright! The Lord will save me!"

So the helicopter flew away. The water continued to rise and a boat came to him but, once again, the man shouted, "No! Go AWAY! the Lord will come and save me!" and, once again, the boat sped off.

The water was getting dangerously deep by now so the helicopter came back and, on cue, the man repeated, "I don't need saving! My Lord will come"

Reluctantly, the helicopter left.

The rain continued to pour, the water continued to rise and the man drowned.

At the gates of heaven, the man met St. Peter. Confused, he asked, "Peter, I have lived the life of a faithful man - why did my Lord more...

(This allegedly really happened in Canada. I heard it from a
friend. After posting it in rec.backcountry I got some requests to
post it here.)
Some guy on drugs jumped over a cliff but did not quite succeed in
killing himself. The rescue team tied his unconscious body into a
Stokes litter and proceeded to evacuate by means of a "fixed line
flyaway." This means that the litter is suspended a couple of
hundred feet below a helicopter which then flies to a level place
where they can set him down (carefully) and either load him in the
aircraft or otherwise take further care of him. The patient is
accompanied by one attendant tied into the litter.
This patient began to regain consciousness during the flight.
Remember he is flying across the sky and being marginally conscious
(as well as probably still feeling the effects of whatever drug he
took) probably doesn't notice either the helicopter or the more...

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Farmer's Branch, Texas:Customers waiting for car repairs at Swedish Auto Incorporated now have an alternative to reading old magazines.William Signs, owner of the garage, is offering a free marriage ceremony with any 30,000-mile inspection on Hondas, Volvos and BMWs. For the $290 price of the inspection, he will throw in the cost of being married by the local justice of the peace, a $25 value.The inspection comes with a warranty, but there is no guarantee on the marriage. Then again, the justice of the peace, Judge Bob Forman, suggests, "Maybe the car will break down and the marriage won't." He says he hasn't seen anything like this stunt since his days as a practicing attorney, when a client asked him to draw up wills for employees in lieu of cash bonuses at Christmas.Signs said he got the idea during a trip to Las Vegas, where he more...

A man was out sailing at sea in the middle of a storm when a particularly large wave overturned his boat.

He fell into the sea and was forced to tread water to stay afloat.

He stayed there for several hours until a rescue helicopter flew overhead. A rope was lowered with a lifeguard worker on the end of it. He reached out to grab the man, but being very religious, he said, "No thank you. God will save me eventually."

The helicopter flew off.

After another few hours, a lifeboat came along, but again the man told them to go away, as God would save him.

Eventually, the man died of freezing in the water. As his soul drifted up to heaven, he said to Saint Peter, "Why didn't God save me?"

Saint Peter said, "He sent a rescue helicopter and a lifeboat! What more did you want?"