Herman Jokes / Recent Jokes
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,' Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!'
'I know,' said Herman,' But, It's not just one car, it's hundreds of them.
What did Pee-Wee Herman say when the judge asked him if he wanted a lawyer?
"No thanks. I can get myself off.
There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ''Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!'' Herman says, ''I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!''
Two prisoners are talking about their crimes:
George: "I robbed a bank, and they gave me 20 years"
Herman: "Hmm. I killed a man, and I'm here for 3 days"
George: "*WHAT*??? I rob a bank and get 20 years; you kill a man and get 3 days???"
Herman: "Yeah, it was a lawyer."
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.
On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.
The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife`s voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there`s a car going the wrong way on Highway 401. Please be careful!" "Darnl," said Herman, "It`s not just one car. It`s hundreds of them!"
There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says,' 'Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!''
Herman says,' 'I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!''