Herman Jokes / Recent Jokes
A sloth named Herman is walking through the forest one day. A gang of snails approach him and beat him up for 7 hours. He is left at the bottom of a tree with several cuts and bruises.
Several hours later, he gathers up enough strength to go to a local police station. Herman walks into the Sergeant's office.
"What happened to you? the officer asks.
"A gang of snails beat me up," Herman replied.
"Can you describe what they looked like?"
"I don't know," the sloth says. "It all happened so fast."
Pee-wee Herman recently apologized for changes and delays to his long awaited comeback show, the reason given... he is still busy cleaning the back of the seats in the theatre from his last "comeback" show.
A sloth named Herman is walking through the forest one day. A gang of snails approach him and beat him up for 7 hours. He is left at the bottom of a tree with several cuts and bruises.
Several hours later, he gathers up enough strength to go to a local police station. Herman walks into the Sergeant's office.
"What happened to you? the officer asks.
"A gang of snails beat me up," Herman replied.
"Can you describe what they looked like?"
"I don't know," the sloth says. "It all happened so fast."
Herman and Martha were happily married for nearly forty years. The
only friction in their marriage was caused by the husband's habit of breaking
wind nearly every morning as he awoke. The noise would always wake up Martha
and the smell would cause her eyes to water as she would choke and gasp for
air. Nearly every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping one in
the morning. Herman told her that he couldn't help it. She begged him to
visit a doctor to see if anything could be done, but the husband wouldn't
hear of it. He told her that it was just a natural bodily function, and then
he would laugh in her face as she tried to wave the fumes away with her
hands. She told him that there was nothing natural about it and if he didn't
stop, he was one day going to "fart his guts out."
The years went by and Martha continued to suffer and Herman continued
to ignore her warnings about "farting his guts out" until one more...
Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public.