Hick Jokes / Recent Jokes
1. You light your shabbos candles from your cigarette
2. Your belt buckle is bigger than a yarmulke
3. Instead of a noisemaker, you've fired a shotgun at the sound of Haman's name
4. You have a gun rack in your sukkah
5. You think KKK is a symbol for Really Really Kosher
6. You think marrying your first cousin is required according to Jewish Law
7. You don't ride on shabbat because your car is up on blocks
8. When someone shouts l'chaim you respond l'howdy
9. You are saving a bottle of Mogen David for some special occasion
10. You think a good Bar Mitzvah gift is time shared on your hunting lease.
Ma and Pa are sitting on the front porch swing, rocking. Pa says to Ma,' 'Screw you Ma.'' A minute goes by, and Ma says to Pa,' 'Screw you Pa.'' Again, a minute goes by, and Pa says to Ma,' 'Screw you Ma.'' Another minute goes by, and Ma says to Pa,' 'Screw you Pa.'' Yet another minute goes by, and Pa says to Ma,' 'Screw you Ma.'' A minute later, Ma says to Pa,' 'Screw you Pa.'' A couple of minutes go by, and Pa says to Ma,' 'I don't know about you Ma, but I just don't get too much out of this oral sex stuff!''
A feller is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says, "What on earth is that all about?"
The farmer says, "We had a fire in the chicken coop two months ago and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm."
"Okay, but that was two months ago. Why does he still wear them?"
The farmer replied, "There ain't nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other."
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.
He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled,' 'Pull, Nellie, pull!'' Buddy didn't move.
Then the farmer hollered,' 'Pull, Buster, pull!'' Buddy didn't respond.
Once more the farmer commanded,' 'Pull, Coco, pull!'' Nothing.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said,' 'Pull, Buddy, pull!'' And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.
The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.
The farmer said,' 'Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try!''
After having their 11th child, a Kentucky couple decided that was enough(they could not afford a larger double wide).
So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Kentucky), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
The Kentuckian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me." So, the couple drove to Ohio to get a second opinion.
The Ohio physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Kentucky. This doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, more...
A big-city counterfeiter decided the best place to pass off his phony $18 bills would be in some small hick Southern town. So, he got into his new wheels and off he went. He found a tiny town with a single store.
He entered the store and handed one of the bogus bills to the man behind the counter. "Can you change this for me, please?" he said. The store clerk looked at the $18 bill a short time, then smiled and told the man, "Sure, Mister. Ya'll want 2 nines or 3 sixes?"
How do you circumcise a redneck?
Kick his sister in the chin.