Hill Jokes / Recent Jokes

What do you call whites runing down a hill? An avalanche.
What do you call a bunch of blacks runing down a hill? A mudslide.
What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down the hill? A jailbreak.

How do you get Mexicans to run down a hill?
Roll a quarter down a hill.
How do you know which Mexican has the most money?
The one that picks up the Quarter.

God said, "Go down into that valley."

And Adam said, "What's a valley?" and God explained it to him.

Then God said, "Cross the river"

And Adam said "What's a river?" and God explained it to him.

And then God said, "Go over the hill."

And Adam said, "What's a hill?" and God explained it to him.

Then God told Adam, "On the other side of the hill, you will find a cave."

And Adam said, "What's a cave?" And God explained that to him.

"In the cave you will find a woman."

And Adam said, "What's a woman?"

So God explained that to him, and said, "I want you to reproduce."

And Adam said, "How do I do that?" So God explained it to him.

So off went Adam, down into the valley, across the river, and over the hill, and into the cave, and found the more...

There was a teacher getting ready for class and she was waiting for 3 boys to arrive.
The first boy comes in the class with no pants on but is wearing a t-shirt and undies.
The teacher ask" Where have you been?"
The boy says "I went on Blueberry Hill".
The second boy enters the class with no t-shirt on but is wearing pants and undies.
The teacher asks" Where have you been?"
The boy says "I went on Blueberry Hill?"
The third boy enters the class with no pants and undies but is wearing a t-shirt.
The teacher asks him " Where have you been?"
The boys says " I went on Blueberry Hill".
Now this girl enters the class with nothing on. The teacher says " I suppose you went on Blueberry Hill, right?"
And the girl says " No miss, I am Blueberry Hill".

A fleeing Taliban fighter, desperate for a drink, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he came across a little man at a stall selling ties. "Do you have water?" the Taliban rebel asked. "No, but would you like to buy a tie? $50." "Fool!" shouted the fighter. "I don't need an over-priced tie. I should kill you, but I must find water first." "OK," said the stallowner. "It does not matter that you do not want my ties and that you hate me. I will show you I am a bigger man than that. If you continue over that hill for about five kilometres, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice-cold water you need." Muttering, the fighter staggered over the hill. Several hours later, he staggered back. "Your filthy swine of a brother won't let me in without a tie."

We're over the hill but don't feel sadThis side of the hill ain't all that bad. So give us "five" and then a smileTo us who have been here for awhile. With by-pass pain and mended hipAnd plumbing fixtures prone to drip; We all may seem a sorry lot, But we rejoice for what we've got. We have each day and what it bringsAnd on our pensions live like kings. For the press that accuses what we takeTo coin a phrase, "Let them eat cake."We've paid our share for unused knowledgeAs the kids are now all done with college. We complain to them about our healthAs they worry about our dwindling wealth. And though our wardrobes may be plainWe'll suffer no more labor or pain. Now it's with cane we do our strutAnd if we can't drive - we still can putt. We're mean and tough, meet all demands, Why, M&M's melt in our hands. Yes, we're still here, and it does delight usThat you join our fight against arthritis. But we ask you make a pledge todayThat you'll be careful what you say. We more...

Pat was found dead in his back yard, and as the weather was a bit on the warm side, the wake was held down to only two days, so his mortal remains wouldn't take a bad turn. At last his friends laid him in the box, nailed it shut & started down the hill into the churchyard. As it was a long, sloping path and the mourners were appropriately tipsy, one fellow lurched into the gatepost as they entered the graveyard. Suddenly a loud knocking came from in the box. Paddy was alive! They opened the box up and he sat up, wide eyed, and they all said, Sure, it's a miracle of God! All rejoiced & they went back and had a few more drinks but later that day, the poor lad died. Really died. Stone cold dead. They bundled him back into his box, and as they huffed and puffed down the hill the next morning, the priest said, "Careful now, boys; mind ye don't bump the gatepost again"