Hillary Jokes / Recent Jokes

Last summer, the President and Mrs. Clinton were vacationing in their home
state of Arkansas.
On a venture one day, they stopped at a service station to fill up the car
with gas. It seemed that the owner of the station was once Hillary's high
school love. They exchanged hellos, and went on their way.
As they were driving on to their destination, Bill put his arm around Hillary
and said, "Well, honey, if you had stayed with him, you would be the wife of
a service station owner today."
She smiled and replied, "No. If I had stayed with him, he would be President
of the United States."

Hillary Clinton compared herself this weekend to Rocky.

Does she mean she got brain damaged after being hit by a black guy?

Hillary Clinton went in for her yearly checkup. When she was finished, she asked her gynecologist how things looked. He said he was pleased and that she is in great shape but, that she was pregnant! She told the doctor there was no way, but he said that she most definitely was a month pregnant. Well, she stormed out of the office and went to the receptionist and took the phone and called the white house. When the operator answered she said that it was Hillary and that she wanted to talk to Bill right away. Well they rang the oval office and Bill answered.
Hillary said: "Do you know what you did you rotten bastard? You got me pregnant!!!" The President remained silent.
Again, Hillary screamed, "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID, YOU ROTTEN BASTARD? YOU GOT ME PREGNANT!!!"
Finally Bill answered, "Who is this???"

Bill Clinton Nicknames
McPresident
Dollar Bill
The Bill we'll be paying for years
Commander-in-thief
Hillary Rodham
the Great Pretender
Willy the Weasel
Hillary Clinton nicknames
Wicked witch of the west wing
Hilla the Hun
Robbery Hillham

Barack Obama is expected to nominate Hillary Clinton to be his Secretary of State on Monday.  It will be interesting to see how Hillary handles having a male boss.  It will the first time she has been underneath a man since her wedding night.

Hillary Clinton went into a pet shop and spotted a beautiful parrot. "Can this parrot talk?" she asked. "Yes, he can," replied the manager. "Why are all the others $500, and this one only $50?" "Well," explained the manager, "not everyone would want to own this parrot since he spent years in a whore house and his language is somewhat foul."
"Well, I want him," Hillary said.
"Ok ma'am, suit yourself," the manager said with a shrug. When Hillary got the parrot to the White House, she uncovered the cage and stood admiring him. Tilting his head to one side, the parrot looked her in the eye and said, "New house, new madam." This made Hillary chuckle.
After a while, Chelsea and a friend came in and stopped to admire the bird. The bird looked back at them both and said, "New house, new whores."
Hillary quickly explained the bird's history to Chelsea and her friend, which gave them both a more...

What's the difference between a Pit Bull and Hillary Clinton? Hillary carries a briefcase.