Hindi Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sardar: O banno car ki speed itni kyon badha di?
Banno: Oji car ki break fail ho gayi hai, accident ho jaye iske pehle ghar pahunch jaate hain….!

(Scene - Ajit ordering his chela to kill the enemy.)
AJIT: “Robert, Ise varnish mein daal do,
saala mar bhi jaayega aur finish bhi ho jaayega.

A Foreigner Comes To India. He Likes It And Decides To Spend The Rest Of His Life In India.
One Day He Thougth That He Should Learn Hindi, So He Went To A Hindi Teacher
Teacher: Repeat After Me
Foreigner: Ok
Teacher: Maine Kiya
Foreigner: Maaaaaaaaaaame Kiyo
Teacher: Manoranjan Ke Liye
Foreigner: Maaanoraanjan Kee Liyee
Teacher: Jaldi Chalo
Foreigner: Jaaldi Chaaloo
Then The Foreigner Comes Back To His House In The Way And There Was A Murder Of A Person And The Police Arrived.
Police: Kisne Kiya
Foreigner: Mane Kiya, Mane Kiya!!
Police: Kyuonn Kiya?
Foreigner: Manoranjan Ke Liye
Police: Police Station Chalo
Foreigner: Jaldi Chalo

(Scene - Ajit thoroughly disgusted with Mona daaa.. arrling’s typing.)
AJIT: Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko kaat do.
Robert: Magar kyoon baas?
AJIT: Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam shaarthand to seekh legi.

A potted version of the state of affairs in our country inscribed behind an autorickshaw:
Jheel par paani barasta hai, hamaarey deysh mein Kheyt paani ko tarasta hai, hamaarey deysh mein Zindgee ka haal khasta hai, hamaarey deysh. mein Insaan ka khoon sasta hai, hamaarey deysh mein Ab leedron, afsaron aur paagalon ko chhor kar Kaun khul kar hastua hai, hamaarey deysh mein? The rain fall on lakes in our land While fields go thirsty in our land
What lives of misery do we live in our land
Human blood is cheap in our land
Now besides leaders, officials and lunatics
No one laughs heartily in our land.

A policeman bitten by a dog came for treatment to the Safdarjang Hospital. He asked the pharmacist, "Arey bhai! Kuttey katne kee davaa dena - brother give me medicine for dog bite."
The pharmacist asked him, "Santree jee! Aap ko bhee kuttey nay kaat liya - how did a dog bite a policeman?"
The constable replied, "To tell you the truth, I was not wearing my uniform at the time."

A newly nominated chief minister was under pressure from all his supporters to appoint them as cabinet minister. Or else!
The much harassed chief minister sought the
advice of his guru. *Very simple', replied the sage,
'select nine on three principles.'
'O holy one!' pleaded the chief minister,' please
enlighten this ignoramus on the three principles of
selection.'
'Three should be sachha - truthful.'
The chief minister looked over the list of his
supporters and crossed out all the names.
"Three should be suchha - dean.'
The chief minister took a second look at the list
and again crossed out all the names.
'Three should be luchhas - vagabonds.'
The chief minister went over the list and looked more puzzled than before.' All of them qualify under the third category. "What should I do?' he pleaded.
'Give all of them some kind of post or the other. Tell everyone that they are all luchhas and the only more...