Hindu Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three men are driving in a car when it breaks down on an abandoned road: A Hindu man, a Jewish man, and a Polish man. After walking for a few miles, they come across a farm with a barn. Desperately seeking a place to sleep for the night, they knock on the door and ask the farmer if they can sleep in the barn.

The farmer says it's OK as long as they don't disturb his sleep or the animals, so the three men go to sleep in the barn with all the animals.

Fifteen minutes later, the Hindu man bangs on the farmer's door and asks if he can sleep on the floor of his room, because he cannot sleep with sacred cows next to him. The farmer says it's OK and lets him in.

In another fifteen minutes, the Jewish man bangs on the farmer's door and asks if he can sleep on the floor of his room, because he cannot sleep with pigs next to him, and the farmer says this is OK. Now only the Polish man is outside.

Fifteen minutes later, the farmer hears another knock more...

A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble inthe countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. The farmer said, "There might be a problem. You see, I only have room fortwo to sleep, one of you must sleep in the barn." "No problem," spoke the Rabbi. "My people wandered in the desert for fortyyears. I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for an evening." With thathe departed to the barn and the others bedded down for the night. Moments later a knock was heard at the door. The farmer opened the door, and there stood the Rabbi from the barn. "What's wrong?" asked the farmer. He replied, "I am grateful to you, but I can't sleep in the barn. There isa pig in the barn and my faith believes that is an unclean animal." His Hindu friend agreed to swap places with him. But a few minutes latethe same scene occurs. There is a knock on the door. "What's wrong, now?" the farmer asked. The Hindu holy more...

A Rabbi, a Hindu and a lawyer were driving late at night in the country when their car expired. They set out to find help, and came to a farmhouse. When they knocked at the door, the farmer explained that he had only two beds, and one of the three had to sleep in the barn with the animals. The three quickly agreed.

The Rabbi said he would sleep in the barn and let the other two have the beds. Ten minutes after the Rabbi left, there was a knock on the bedroom door. The Rabbi entered exclaiming "I can't sleep in the barn; there is a pig in there. It's against my religion to sleep in the same room with a pig!"

The Hindu said HE would sleep in the barn, as he had no religious problem with pigs. However, about five minutes later, the Hindu burst through the bedroom door saying "There's a COW in the barn! I can't sleep in the same room as a cow! It's against my religion!"

The lawyer, anxious to get to sleep, said he'd go to the barn, as more...

I often wonder
what happens, when a municipal van
picks up a body, and disposes it off.
What if a Muslim is cremated, or a Hindu buried?
Would the Muslim's soul be compelled to the unseemly peregrinations
of successive rebirth? And the Hindu's itinerant spirit
confined to a suffocating grave till Day of Judgement?
Perhaps Allah and Ishwar have a treaty
on what to do with irregular cases.

There was a period during the Pakistan army's campaign of repression in East Pakistan, now Bangladesh, which was directed exclusively at the Hindus. Every Bangla Hindu tried to pass off as a Muslim. The Pakistan army couldn't be fooled that easily. During one of their pogroms, they lined up all the adults of the village.
'Name?' asked the officer.' Moosa Mian,' replied the man.
'lift up your tehmad.' Moosa Mian did as he was told. He was allowed to go.
The next one, a Hindu, was understandably nervous.' Name?' demanded the officer.
'Atul Bihari,' replied the man, shaking with fear.
'Why are you so scared?' demanded the officer.' We are not looking for Biharis but only Hindus.'

A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer.
The farmer said "There might be a problem; you see, I only have room for two to sleep, one of you must sleep in the barn. "No problem", spoke the Rabbi, "My people wandered in the desert for forty years, I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for an evening. "With that he departed to the barn and the others bedded down for the night,
Moments later a knock was heard at the door; the farmer opened the door, there stood the Rabbi from the barn. "What's wrong?", asked the farmer. He replied, "I am grateful to you, but I can't sleep in the barn. There is a pig in the barn and my faith believes that is an unclean animal."
His Hindu friend agrees to swap places with him. But a few minutes late the same scene reoccurs. There is a knock on the door,
"What's wrong, now?, the farmer asks. The more...

Q: Why arent Hindu and Chinese people allowed to play hockey? A: Because everytime they go into the corner they open up a convienent store.