Homeland Jokes / Recent Jokes

(best done with exaggerated English & German accents)
An English P.O.W. is in a German hospital with serious injuries. The
doctor comes into his room and says, "The news iss bad. Ve are going to
have to amputate your leg." The Brit replies "Right then. War is hell and
all that malarkey. But could you ask your commandant if he wouldn't find
it to much of a bother to drop it over my beloved homeland when he goes on
his next bombing mission?" Off goes the doctor, and with the commandant's
permission, they fulfill his request.
A few days later, the doctor returns into his room and says, "More bad news.
Ve are going to have to amputate your other leg." The Brit replies "Right
then. War is hell and all that malarkey. Could you ask your commandant
if he wouldn't mind terribly if he could drop it over my beloved homeland
when he goes on his next bombing mission?" Off goes the doctor, and more...

An American man, a Russian man, and an African man were all up in a hot-air balloon together. After a few minutes, the Russian man put his hand down through the clouds. "Aaah!" he said. "We're right over my homeland." "How can you tell?" asked the American. "I can feel the cold air." he replied. A few hours later the African man put his hand through the clouds. "Aah we're right over my homeland." he said. "How do you know that?" asked the Russian. "I can feel the heat of the desert." Several more hours later the American put his hand through the clouds. "Aah, we're right over New York." The Russian and the African were amazed. "How do you know all of that?" they exclaimed. The American pulled his hand up. "My watch is missing."