Honest Jokes / Recent Jokes

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Many folks have written with perfectly plausible explanations about why merchants take my phone number on a credit card charge. What these fail to address, however, is that if I'm perpetrating a fraud in the use of this credit card, I'm not about to give out a correct phone number. They make no effort to validate the phone number before I leave, so what they're doing is collecting the phone numbers of a bunch of honest people.Now then... Why are they collecting the phone numbers of a bunch of honest people? I once asked why you are asked for your phone number when using your charge cards. The clerk explained that theives have been caught because they stupidly put down THEIR home phone number, not the phone number of the person who "owned" the card.

When a lawyer named Strange died, his family asked the tombstone maker to inscribe the words, "Here lies Strange, a lawyer and an honest man" on his stone. Insisting that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would think that three men were buried in the same plot, the inscriber suggested an alternative. His suggestion was to inscribe the words, "Here lies a man who was both a lawyer and honest."
That way, anyone who walked by and read the inscription would be sure to remark "That's Strange."

Two friends play cops and robbers as kids, and while one grows up to be a honest and upright cop, the other also grows up to be a honest upright cop!

A poor young man falls in love with a beautiful and very rich girl and when they approach the wealthy, arrogant and powerful father he happily gets them married!

Twins separated in a crowded mela grow up in separate towns, doing different jobs, marrying and having children, without ever meeting again!

Two very close friends fall in love with the same girl and in the touching climax both offer to sacrifice their love for the other and the girl finally declares that she's a lesbian and decides to live-in with a girl she's been seeing secretly!

Two young students in the same class in college manage to fall in love with each other without singing any songs in locations in Europe and without any attempt being made to rape the heroine by the local bully. They get married, have nine kids and live more...

One evening a man walked into a fast-food chicken place and bought a nine-piece bucket of chicken. He took his chicken to the park for a romantic dinner under the moonlight with his lady. Upon reaching into the bucket, however, he received a surprise. Instead of chicken he discovered what was apparently the restaurant`s night deposit - some nine thousand bucks. The young man brought the bucket back to the store and asked for his chicken in exchange for the money. The manager, in awe of the young man`s honesty, asked for his name and told him he wanted to call the newspaper and the local news station to do a story on him. He would become a local hero, an example of honesty and morality that would inspire others! The hungry man shrugged it off, "My date`s waiting. I just want my chicken." The manager`s renewed amazement over the young man`s humility almost overwhelmed him. He begged to be allowed to tell the story on the news. At this the honest man became angry with the more...

An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. The investment banker began to interview young lawyers.
"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Mayberry, are you an honest lawyer?"
"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my father lent me $15, 000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."
"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?" asked the investment counselor.
The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, "He sued me for the money."

An independent woman started her own business. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in. Pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counsel and so she began interviewing young lawyers.
"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward; "Mr. Peterson, are you an 'honest' lawyer?"
"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my dad lent me fifteen thousand dollars for my education and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."
"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"
He squirmed in his seat and admitted, "My dad sued me for the money."

An independent woman started her own business. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in. Pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counsel, and so she began interviewing young lawyers.
"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Peterson, are you an 'honest' lawyer?"
"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my dad lent me fifteen thousand dollars for my education and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."
"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"
He squirmed in his seat and admitted, "My dad sued me for the money."