Honorable Jokes

Must Read for Every Man and of course Woman (to understand man) If a female is reading this article then just realize the value of a man; and if its a male then feel proud of after reading it! "One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, " Why are you crying?" The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living. The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe? " the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "No. " The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. " Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. Again, the woodcutter replied, " No." The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. " Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "Yes. " The Lord was pleased with the man`s honesty and gave him all more...

Ever wonder why golf is growing in popularity and people who don't even play go to tournaments or watch it on TV? These truisms may shed light on reasons why.

Golf is an honorable game, with the overwhelming majority of players being honorable people who don't need referees.

Golfers don't have some of their players in jail every week.

Golfers don't scratch their privates on the golf course.

Golfers don't kick dirt on, or throw bottles at, other people.

Professional golfers are compensated in direct proportion to how well they play.

Golfers don't get per diem and two seats on a charter flight when they travel between tournaments.

Golfers don't hold out for more money, or demand new contracts, because of another player's deal.

Professional golfers don't demand that the taxpayers pay for the courses on which they play.

When golfers make a mistake, nobody is there to cover for them or back more...

Every Sunday at church, a little old lady placed $500 in the collection plate. This continued for weeks until the priest, overcome with curiousity, approached her. "I couldn't help but notice that you put $500 in the collection plate every week," he said.
"Why yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money, and what I don't need I give to the church."
"That's wonderful," the priest replied. "How much does your son send you?"
"He sends me $1,500.00 every week," the old woman said.
"Your son seems to be very successful. What does he do for a living?" the priest asked.
"He's a veterinarian," the old woman proudly replied.
The impressed priest said, "That is a very honorable profession. Where does he practice?"
"Well, he tells me he has one cat house in Chicago, one in Miami and another in Dallas," explained the old woman.

(Oriental voice:) Hello, you have reached honorable Chan's residence. I, Kato, will go and get honorable Chan. (Godzilla scream.) Oh no! Godzilla coming! Please leave name and number at gong and Chan will call back if house still here.