Hooker Jokes / Recent Jokes
What is the difference between a cheap hooker and an elephant?
One rolls on its back for peanuts and the other one lives in a zoo.
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball
Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!
Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!
Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in more...
Bill Clinton is out on his morning jog when he sees a hooker. As he passses her, he yells "20 bucks!"
"No way," she answers.
The following morning Bill is jogging with Hillary. As they pass the same hooker on the street she says, "See what you get for 20 bucks?"
A young hooker picked up a customer and led him to her room. She began to put off her clothes and he inspected her with delight.
Then he asked: "How old are you?"
"Thirteen."
"What??? Thirteen???!!! Good bye." - and he left in haste.
The girl frowned and uttered: "Stupid superstitious fool!"
Other things Lindsay hasn't been seen doing in the past 7 days:
-Eating
-Reading
-Robert Altman
After working for years, a hooker finally retired and, being afraid of spending the rest of her life alone, she decided to marry. She had been with so many perverted men over the years that she felt she needed a change and would only get one by marrying a virgin male near her age. She took out ads in newspapers around the world seeking a male virgin who was 55 years old. She finally narrowed her choice to an Australian computer programmer. After a thorough background check, she was satisfied that he had indeed never been with a woman and they were married. On their wedding night, she went into the bathroom to change into her nightie. When she came back out, she found that her new husband had taken the bed and everything in the room and stacked it in one corner of the room.
Thinking this was rather kinky, she said to her husband, "I thought you had never been with a woman."
He replied, "That's true, but if it's anything like screwing a kangaroo, we're going to more...
As a hooker was dressing, she turned to her customer and asked, "Have you just gotten out of prison?" "Yeah," the guy replied. "How did you guess? Is it because I wanted to have sex from the rear?" "Partly." She said. "But more because when we finished, you ran around in front of me, bent over, and shouted,' YOUR TURN.'"