Humanity Jokes / Recent Jokes

An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a mystic were asked to name the greatest invention of all times.
The engineer chose fire, which gave humanity power over matter.
The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space.
The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power over symbols.

The mystic chose the thermos bottle.
"Why a thermos bottle?" the others asked.
"Because the thermos keeps hot liquids hot in winter and cold liquids cold in summer."
"Yes -- so what?"
"Think about it." said the mystic reverently. That little bottle -- how does it know?"

From AP:

Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama tried to reassure Jewish voters concerned about his Muslim ties...

Speaking to the National Jewish Democratic Council, the Illinois senator said his experience living in Indonesia [where Jews aren't allowed] for four years as a child and his ability to speak to Muslims could make him a better president.

"If I go to Jakarta and address the largest Muslim country on earth, I can say,'Apa kabar,' -- you know,'How are you doing?' -- and they can recognize that I understand their common humanity," Obama said.

What this reassurance would have sounded like during our previous great war, World War II:

...the Illinois senator said his experience living in Austria for four years as a child and his ability to speak to Austrians could make him a better president.

"If I go to Vienna, I can say,'Heil Hitler,' -- you know,'How are you doing?' -- and they can recognize that I more...