Hurricane Jokes / Recent Jokes
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold unto your nuts-This is no ordinary Blow Job!
well this is usually my favorite month of the year and not just because its ford truck month, but because it is traditionally the apex of hurricane season. i look forward to this every year, because pat robertson always finds a way to mistakenly blame a category 3 on a bunch of homosexuals.
i'm here to set the record straight. homosexuals do not cause hurricanes...the jews do.
A tornado walks into a bar and orders a Hurricane. The bartender asks why he is ordering a Hurricane when he is a tornado. The tornado responds with, "I am a hurricane induced tornado".
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? -Hang onto your leaves, this will be no ordinary breeze
"I know I'm a bad president, and I got us into a war that we shouldn't be in, made a bill that takes away a lot of your rights, held prisoners against their will with no evidence, tortured other prisoners, screwed over the poor, placed wire taps on you, reacted poorly to a hurricane, started a pointless bill to pursecute gay people, shouldn't even really be president, and probably did a whole lot more evil stuff you haven't even heard about yet...
but punching me is just mean."
Mike McGovern, a writer, objected to having a destructive hurricane named after his sweet niece, Emily. So in yesterday's NY Times, he submitted the following list of more appropriate hurricane names and how these storms might behave:
Hurricane ClintonMoves right, then left again
Hurricane GergenSpins uncontrollably
Hurricane PowellHeads directly for the White House
Hurricane NunnTravels only in a straight line
Hurricane BushCompletely misses Middle America
Hurricane PerotSmall but annoying
Hurricane DoleEliminates roads, bridges and schools; spares only Kansas
Hurricane MadonnaLeaves clothes strewn everywhere
Hurricane OprahGets smaller, then bigger again
Hurricane LettermanAppears an hour earlier than expected
Hurricane ChevyFades almost immediately
Hurricane WallaceHard-hitting but lasts only 60 minutes
Hurricane HeidiBlows the lid off Hollywood studios
Hurricane JordanStops abruptly at its peak
Hurricane DykstraDevastates more...
#1. A mandatory evacuation means just that - get the hell out. Don't blame the Government after they tell you to go. If they hadn't said anything, I can see the argument. They said get out; if you didn't, it's your fault, not theirs. (We don't want to hear it, even if you don't have a car, you can get out.)
#2. If there is an emergency, stock up on water and non-perishables. If you didn't do this, it's not the governments fault you're starving.
#2a. If you run out of food and water, find a store that has some. (Remember, shoes, TV's, DVD's and CD's are not edible. Leave them alone.)
#2b. If the local store is too looted of food or water, leave your neighbor's tv and stereo alone. (See # 2a) They worked hard to get their stuff. Just because they were smart enough to leave during a mandatory evacuation, doesn't give you the right to take their stuff; it's theirs, not yours.
#3. If someone comes in to help you, don't shoot at them and then complain no one is helping more...