Hypnotist Jokes / Recent Jokes

The world's greatest hypnotist is on stage in front of hundredsof people swinging a long chain with a watch on the end.He's saying, "You're all in my power...you're all in my power.."Fifteen hundred people are going, "Oooo..."He starts to say it again, "You're all in my...", when heaccidentally drops the watch.He says, "Shit."It took them two weeks to dig everybody out.

What did the hypnotist say when he got his own website.... Hyp, Hyp Hooray.

It was opening night at the Orpheum and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff.

As Claude took to the stage, he announced, "Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotise each and every member of the audience."
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch...."
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell more...

A famous hypnotist was performing in a large auditorium full of students onenight. He began to speak in a soft and steady voice over the loud-speakersystem. "Listen to the sound of my voice...", he kept repeating, "the soundof my voice... every word is a command... the sound of my voice..." Prettysoon, he had every single student in the audience completely mesmerized, eachone hanging on his every word.Needing to take a quick piss, he announced "I will have to leave the stagefor a moment, but you will all remain in a trance while I am gone" And thenhe repeated the words "the sound of my voice... every word is a command." Ashe turned to go, he tripped over the microphone cord, landed on his butt, and yelled "SHIT!"

A famous hypnotist was performing in a large auditorium full of students onenight. He began to speak in a soft and steady voice over the loud-speakersystem. "Listen to the sound of my voice...", he kept repeating, "the soundof my voice... every word is a command... the sound of my voice..." Prettysoon, he had every single student in the audience completely mesmerized, eachone hanging on his every word. Needing to take a quick piss, he announced "I will have to leave the stagefor a moment, but you will all remain in a trance while I am gone" And thenhe repeated the words "the sound of my voice... every word is a command." Ashe turned to go, he tripped over the microphone cord, landed on his butt, and yelled "SHIT!"