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Microsoft announces beta relase of Windows TP
REDMOND, WA (MAR. 31) BUSINESS WIRE - Microsoft Corp. announced Thursday that a beta release of Windows TP, the telepathic operating system, was released to 1,500 test sites worldwide.
Developed using the soon-to-be released Microsoft C for Neurons, Windows TP bypasses awkward user interfaces by interacting directly with the user's brain. Using the Microsoft MindMouse, users can visualize images in their mind, and the application associated with that image (or "thought icon") is executed. Users can visualize pictures to create Windows Bitmap images, or think text directly into Windows applications. Windows TP is fully compatible with all previous versions of Windows. Data stored under Windows TP can be copied into the user's short-term memory (the Windows TP Clipboard), or transferred directly into the user's long-term memory using Windows' new 32-bit Direct Neuron Access technology. Users can then plug into other Windows more...

Download a piece of Web authoring software: 20 minutes.
Think about what you want to write on your Web page: 6
weeks.
Download the same piece of Web authoring software,
because they have released 3 new versions since the first
time you downloaded it: 20 minutes.
Decide to just steal some images and awards to put on
your site: 1 minute.
Visit sites to find images and awards, find 5 of them
that you like: 4 days.
Run setup of your Web authoring software. After it fails,
download it again: 25 minutes.
Run setup again, boot the software, click all toolbar
buttons to see what they do: 15 minutes.
View the source of others' pages, steal some, change a
few words here and there: 4 hours.
Preview your Web page using the Web Authoring software:
1 minute.
Try to horizontally line up two related images: 6
hours.
Remove one of the images: 10 seconds.
Set the text's font color to the same color as more...

1. Download a piece of Web authoring software - 20 minutes.
2. Think about what you want to write on your Web page - 6 weeks.
3. Download the same piece of Web authoring software, because they have released 3 new versions since the first time you downloaded it - 20 minutes.
4. Decide to just steal some images and awards to put on your site - 1 minute.
5. Visit sites to find images and awards, find 5 of them that you like - 4 days.
6. Run setup of your Web authoring software. After it fails, download it again - 25 minutes.
7. Run setup again, boot the software, click all toolbar buttons to see what they do - 15 minutes.
8. View the source of others' pages, steal some, change a few words here and there - 4 hours.
9. Preview your Web page using the Web Authoring software - 1 minute.
10. Try to horizontally line up two related images - 6 hours.
11. Remove one of the images - 10 seconds.
12. Set the text's font color to the same color as your more...

You see the world with one eye and stock images with the other.
When asked what the primary colors are, answer "RGB"
You get the urge to 'fix' poor quality images.
You start teaching your significant other to use this "evil" program and in the space of one afternoon convince them it's at least only quasi-evil in the face of PSP.
You ramble about a breakthrough in the piece you're doing to people who have no idea in hell what you're talking about
You ponder the meaning of existence without layers.
You never leave the house without a digicam and notepad.
You drop something and your brain tells you automatically "Ctrl-Z! Ctrl-Z!". When you realize it won't work, your brain tells you "Ctrl-Alt-Z! Ctrl-Alt-Z!"
You're getting dressed for something important and you look in the mirror and realize you would look so much better if you could just tweak the levels a little and apply a slight gaussian blur.
You stop on more...

We have a big intern public folder at work, where all interns can post items and discussions, I found this is very amusing:
Intern 1: Does anyone know where and how we can access a high quality scanner and maybe even a photo quality 300dpi printer on campus?
Intern 2: Translation: Does anyone know where I can get access to the necessary equipment for making a fake ID?
Intern 3: Don't jump to conclusions. He could just as well want it to scan pornographic images.
Intern 4: Yes! The past few posts have made it perfectly clear! Intern 1 plans to scan pornographic images onto false identification cards! This will allow him and his friends to:
1) Get into bars
2) Improve the quality of their appearance
3) Give bouncers something to look at besides a smug photo
4) Distract bouncers from the scotch tape edges What a brilliant marketing move! Where can I buy stock in this venture, Intern 1?