Impossible Jokes / Recent Jokes

After marrying a sweet young woman, a 90-year-old
geezer told his doctor that they were expecting a baby.
"Let me tell you a story," said the doctor.
"An absent-minded fellow went hunting, but instead of
a gun, he picked up an umbrella.
Suddenly a bear charged him. Pointing his umbrella
at the bear, he shot and killed it on the spot."
"Impossible!" the geezer exclaimed.
"Somebody else must have shot that bear."
"Exactly," replied the doctor.

Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.

Not So Long Ago, This Is What You Would Hear In Passing:

"i'll Tell You One Thing, If Things Keep Going The Way They Are, Its' Going To Be Impossible To Buy A Weeks Groceries For $20."
"Have You Seen The New Cars Coming Out Next Year? It Won't Be Long When $5000 Will Only Buy A Used One."

"If Cigarettes Keep Going Up In Price, I'm Going To Quit. A Quarter A Pack Is Ridiculous."

"Did You Hear The Post Office Is Thinking About Charging A Dime Just To Mail A Letter?"

"If They Raise The Minimum Wage To $1, Nobody Will Be Able To Hire Outside Help At The Store."

"When I First Started Driving, Who Would Have Thought Gas Would Someday Cost 50 Cents A Gallon. Guess We'd Be Better Off Leaving The Car In The Garage."

"Kids Today Are Impossible. Those Duck Tail Hair Cuts Make It Impossible To Stay Groomed. Next Thing You Know, Boys Will Be Wearing Their Hair As more...

Nothing's impossible for those who don't have to do it.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though they were a very large mammal their throat was very small. The little girl stated Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated a whale could not swallow a human it was impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

Herewith is a compendium of movie clich

Herewith is a compendium of movie clich