Inch Jokes / Recent Jokes

There once was a man with a 15 inch so he went to the docter and said, "There is a witch who will know the cure."
So when he went to the witch she said "Go to the pond and everytime the special frog sais no your dick shrinks 3 inches smaller".
As the man went to the frog he said "Will you marry me?" and the frog said no! And the mans dick shrunk 3 inch smaller. so he asked again will you marry me? And the frog said no and it shrunk 3 inches smaller. But it was still too big so he said will you marry me? NO! NO! NO!
NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! AND FOR THE LAST TIME NO !!!

Once upon a time there lived three men: a doctor, a chemist, and an engineer. For some reason all three offended the king and were sentenced to die on the same day. The day of the execution arrived, and the doctor was led up to the guillotine.As he strapped the doctor to the guillotine, the executioner asked, "Head up or head down?" "Head up," said the doctor. "Blindfold or no blindfold?" "No blindfold." So the executioner raised the axe, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade--and stopped barely an inch above the doctor's neck. Well, the law stated that if an execution didn't succeed the first time the prisoner had to be released, so the doctor was set free. Then the chemist was led up to the guillotine. "Head up or head down?" said the executioner. "Head up." "Blindfold or no blindfold?" "No blindfold." So the executioner raised his axe, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade--and stopped an inch above the more...

One day, a guy walks into a bar and he pulls a little 8 inch guy and a little piano out of his pocket and the little guy starts to play. Everyone looked at him and was just so amazed by this. One guy walks over to the other guy and asks him where he got that little man and the piano. He replies, "Well, out there, is a genie and he grants you but one wish." So, immediately after the guy heard that, he ran out to the genie. He walks back into the bar with all these ducks everywhere. The guy with the man and piano asks, "Where'd all those ducks come from?" The other says, "Well, I asked the genie for a million bucks, but he gave me a million ducks." The first guy says, "Oh, I guess I should have warned you that the genie is hard of hearing. You don't actually think I asked for a 8 inch pianist, do you?"

A flat-chested woman was delighted when her fairy-god mother said her breasts would increase in size each time a man says, "Pardon" to her.

She walked down the sidewalk, accidentally bumped into a man and he said, "Pardon me." Her breasts instantly grew an inch and she was ecstatic. The next day, she bumped into a man in the grocery store, he begged her pardon and another inch was added to her breasts. She was in seventh heaven!

She walked into a Chinese restaurant, collided with a waiter who bowed and said, "A tousund pardons fo my crumsy behavre."

The next day, the headline in the local newspaper says, "Chinese Waiter Crushed to Death!"

A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining a wealthy foreign ambassador during lunch at a very expensive restaurant in uptown New York.The ambassador was so enthralled by the beauty and presence of this secretary that he asked her to marry him. The secretary was startled, but remembered that her boss told her never to insult foreign dignitaries, so she decided to let him down easy. "I'll only marry you under three conditions." she said."Anything, anything," said the ambassador."First, you must buy me a 14-karat gold wedding band with a 72 carat diamond, along with a 28 inch studded matching necklace for our engagement."Without hesitation, the ambassador picked up his cellular phone, called his personal accountant, told him the instructions, and said, "Yes, yes, I buy, I buy!" The secretary thought that her first request was too easy, so she thought of a more difficult situation."Second, I want you to build me a 58-acre mansion in more...

Mike goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this great big huge guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7 feet tall, 350 lbs, 20 inch penis, testicles 3 lbs each, Turner Brown." Mike just faints dead away and falls to the floor. The big dude kneels down and brings him to, by slapping his face and shaking him. He asks, "Are you OK??" In a very weak voice Mike says, "Excuse me, but what did you just say to me?" The big dude says, "When I saw the curious look on your face, I just figured I'd give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. "I'm 7 feet tall, weigh 350 lbs, have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 lbs each, and my name is Turner Brown." Mike said, "Oh Thank God!!! I thought you said' Turn Around!'"

The owner of a bar is just locking up for the night when there is a knock at the door.

He opens the door and there's a snail sitting on the doorstep.

"What do you want?" asks the owner.

"I want a beer," says the snail.

"First of all, we're closed, and second of all, we don't serve snails. So go away!"

The snail begs and pleads for a beer.

The owner finally gets fed up, kicks the snail, and slams the door.

ONE YEAR LATER....

The owner of a bar is just locking up for the night when there is a knock at the door.

He opens the door and there's a snail sitting on the doorstep.

"What'd you do that for?" asks the snail.