Inscription Jokes

Hubby: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office.Why? Wife: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.Hubby: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you? Wife: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"__________________________________________Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.Girl: Well, that's because we aren't married yet! __________________________________________Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap! __________________________________________Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?"Husband to wife: "Golfing more...

A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their wedding anniversary. The husband gave his wife a gift - a tombstone, with the inscription: HERE LIES MY WIFE - COLD AS EVER.
Later the furious wife bought a return present - also a tombstone - on which the inscription read :HERE LIES MY HUSBAND - STIFF AT LAST.

A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their wedding anniversary.
The husband decides to give his wife a gift, a tombstone, with the inscription: "Here lies my wife... cold as ever"
Later the furious wife bought a return present, a tombstone with the inscription: "Here lies my husband... stiff at last"

A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their wedding anniversary.
The husband gave his wife a gift - a tombstone, with the inscription: HERE LIES MY WIFE - COLD AS EVER.
Later the furious wife bought a return present - also a tombstone -
in which the inscription read :HERE LIES MY HUSBAND - STIFF AT LAST.

Recently one of my friends, a computer wizard, paid me a visit. As we were talking I mentioned that I had recently installed Windows on my PC, I told him how happy I was with this operating system and showed him the Windows CD. Too my astonishment and distress he threw it into my micro-wave oven and turned it on. I was upset because the CD had become precious to me, but he said' Do not worry, it is unharmed.'After a few minutes he took the CD out, gave it to me and said' Take a close look at it.' To my surprise the CD was quite cold and it seemed to have become thicker and heavier than before. At first I could not see anything, but on the inner edge of the central hole I saw an inscription, in lines finer than anything I have ever seen before. The inscription shone piercingly bright, and yet remote, as if out of a great depth: more...