Insipid Jokes

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    AD&D Monster Manual appendum

    [Note - a few years old, and a search didn't reveal either a copyright or an
    attribution. Earliest claim I could find was dated Aug 1993 by
    [email protected] - ed]
    AD&D Monster Manual IV
    Barney
    CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Nine Hells, Gehenna, Hades, The Abyss, PBS
    FREQUENCY: Very rare or daily at 4 pm
    ORGANIZATION: Solitary
    ACTIVITY CYCLE: Day
    DIET: Little children's minds
    INTELLIGENCE: Insipid (-12)
    TREASURE: Merchandising contracts
    ALIGNMENT: Purple evil
    NO. APPEARING: 1 (may be attended by 1-100 Barney zombies, see below)
    ARMOR CLASS: 10 (big and plush)
    MOVEMENT: 3
    HIT DICE: 8
    THAC0: 12
    NO. OF ATTACKS: 2
    DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1-10 (x2)
    SPECIAL ATTACKS: Hug (damage 3-30)
    SPECIAL DEFENSES: Aura of intolerable idiocy
    MAGIC RESISTANCE: 90%
    SIZE: L (8' tall)
    MORALE: Stupid (30)
    XP VALUE: 4,000
    Barney is a demon from the lower planes, a great purple and plush deformed
    dinosaur. It is the more...

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