Install Jokes / Recent Jokes

These are stories from help desks around the country.
At 3:37 a.m. on a Sunday, I had just looked at the clock to determine my annoyance level, when I received a frantic phone call from a new user of a Macintosh Plus. She had gotten her entire family out of the house and was calling from her neighbor's. She had just received her first system error and interpreted the picture of the bomb on the screen as a warning that the computer was going to blow up.
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
At this point I had to put the caller on hold to tell more...

Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. and now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
Desperate
***
Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command: C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to more...

Now look at them Yo-Yo's, that's the way you do it
You make a web page on the W-3
That ain't workin' that's the way ya do it
Money for nothin' and pix for free
Now that ain't workin' that's the way ya do it
Lemme tell ya them guys ain't dumb
Maybe get a blister on your little finger
Maybe get a blister on your thumb
We gotta install satellite dishes
Home Theatre Deliveries
We gotta move these cable converters
We gotta move these color TV's
See the web designer with the fancy computer
Yea, bud, he's got a ponytail
That web designer's got his own BMW
That web designer don't get dirt under his nails
I shoulda learned to work a computer
I should learned Photoshop
Look at that grrrl, she's a web page maker
Man, where's it gonna stop?
And here's one... what's that? MIDI music?
Blasting out the speakers like a wild banshee
Man, that ain't workin' that's the way ya do it
Get your more...