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Dear Help Desk,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5. 0 to Husband 1. 0 and
noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to
the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry
applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5. 0.
In addition, Husband 1. 0 uninstalled many other valuable
programs, such as Romance 9. 9 but installed undesirable programs
such as NFL 5. 0 and NBA 3. 0.
Conversation 8. 0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning 2. 6 simply
crashes the system.
I've tried running Nagging 5. 3 to fix these problems, but to no
avail.
Please help!
--Desperate

Dear Desperate,
Please keep in mind that Boyfriend 5. 0 is an entertainment
package, while Husband 1. 0 is an operating system.
Try to enter the command: C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME and then
install Tears 6. 2. Husband 1. 0 should then automatically run the
applications: Guilty 3. 0 and Flowers 7. more...

Did you spill on it a glass of Coke?
Did the power supply start to smoke?
Did it go up with a bang?
Did it on the boot-up hang?
Did it read a file wrong?
Did it play its start up song?
Did it open your data disk?
Did your OS come with RISC?
Did the keyboard work at all?
Did you plug it in the wall?
Did the mouse move left or right?
Did your cursor drop out of sight?
Did the printer make your copies?
Did you backup onto floppies?
Did your hard disk icon flip?
Did you check out all the DIPS?
Did you download files off the Net?
Did you check for a virus yet?
Did you re-install your apps?
Did the text appear in all caps?
Did the modem even start to dial?
Did you change any fonts style?
Did you all errors we've reported?
Did you know that's not supported?
Did you load any brand new drivers?
Did you say you used some PLIERS?
Did you install memory chips in pair?
Did you...YOU PUT THE more...

Letter of complaint from a woman to technical support dept.
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5. 0 to Husband 1. 0 and noticed a slow down in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5. 0 system.

In addition, Husband 1. 0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9. 9, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7. 4, NBA 3. 2 and NHL 4. 1. Conversation 8. 0 also no longer runs and Housecleaning 2. 6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5. 3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? smile. gif
Signed,
Desperate
And the answer received...
Dear Desperate:
First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5. 0 was an entertainment package, while Husband 1. 0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6. 2. Husband 1. 0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilt 3. 3 more...

Last year a friend of mine upgraded from BoyFriend 1.0 to Husband 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog, leaving very little system resources available for other applications.
She is now noticing that Husband 1.0 is also spawning Child Processors which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed her that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.
Not only that, Husband 1.0 installs itself such, that it is always launched at system initialization, where it can monitor all other system activity. She's finding that some applications such as SpendingSpree 2.4, GirlsNight 3.5 and CocktailNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before).
During installation, Husband 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-ins such as more...

Last year a friend of mine upgraded from BoyFriend 1.0 to Husband 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog, leaving very little system resources available for other applications.She is now noticing that Husband 1.0 is also spawning Child Processors which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed her that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.Not only that, Husband 1.0 installs itself such, that it is always launched at system initialization, where it can monitor all other system activity. She's finding that some applications such as SpendingSpree 2.4, GirlsNight 3.5 and CocktailNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before).During installation, Husband 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-ins such as MotherInLaw 5.8 and more...

Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that
it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications.
He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which
are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular
phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though
other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature
of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is
always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other
system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight
10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the
system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always
worked fine before).
At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of
undesired Plug-Ins such as more...

Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before).
At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, more...