Install Jokes / Recent Jokes

Dear Tech Support:Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that thenew program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operatedflawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled manyother valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirableprograms such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs andHouseCleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3to fix these problems, but to no avail.-Desperate***Dear Desperate, Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0is an operating system. Try to enter the command: "C:/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVEDME" and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run theapplications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse can causeHusband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, HappyHour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.Beer 6.1 is a very bad program more...

Dear Tech Support:Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend5.0 to Husband1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend5.0.In addition, Husband1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as NFL5.0 and NBA3.0. Conversation8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning2.6 simply crashes the system.I've tried running Nagging5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.-Desperate***Dear Desperate, Keep in mind, Boyfriend5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband1.0 is an operating system.Try to enter the command: C:/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears6.2. Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty3.0 and Flowers7.0. But remember, overuse can cause Husband1.0 to default to GrumpySilence2.5, Happyhour7.0 or Beer6.1.Beer6.1 is a very bad program that will create more...

Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? A: To win the no-bell prize.

Now look at them yo-yos, that's the way you do it
You write the code that runs the WebTV
That ain't working, that's the way you do it
Get yer home page for nothin' and your hits for free.
Now that ain't workin', that's the way you do it
Lemme tell ya, them guys can code
Maybe get some backing' fore they even have a product
Maybe in a month they'll IPO.
We got to install Netscape Web Servers
Custom config delivery
We got to install all of these browsers
They got to all speak HTTP.
See that little doofus with the glasses and the cowlick?
Yeah buddy, that's his own code
That little doofus got a billion options
That little doofus he just IPO'd
We got to install Netscape Web Servers
Custom config delivery
We got to install all of this fiber
We gonna need a big ol' T3
I shoulda learned to code in Java
I shoulda learned some CGI
Look at that web page, they got it dancing right across more...

Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
A: To win the no-bell prize.

Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3. 1 to GirlFriendPlus1. 0 (marketing name: Fiancee1. 0). Recently he upgraded Fiancee1. 0 to Wife1. 0, and it's a memory hogger! It has taken all his space; and Wife1. 0 must be running before he can do anything. Although he didn't ask for them, Wife1. 0 came with Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw and BrotherInLaw. These too slow down the system and cause a slow drain on the resources and well-being of the computer. Some features I'd like to see in the upcoming GirlFriend4. 0: 1. A "Don't remind me again" button. 2. Minimize button. 3. Shutdown feature - An install shield feature so that Girlfriend4. 0 can be completely uninstalled if so desired (so you don't lose cache and other objects). I tried running Girlfriend 2. 0 with Girlfriend 1. 0 still installed; they tried using the same I/O port and conflicted. Then I tried to uninstall Girlfriend 1. 0, but it didn't have an uninstall program. I tried to uninstall it by hand, but it put more...

Dear Tech Support:

I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7. 0 to Wife 1. 0 and found that the new program began unexpected child processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure.

In addition Wife 1. 0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialisation where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Boys Night Out 2. 5, and Golf 5. 3 no longer run and crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Sunday Football 6. 3 always fails but Saturday Shopping 7. 1 runs instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1. 0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favourite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7. 0 but de-install doesn't work on this program.

Can you please help!
Joe.


Dear Joe,

This is a very common problem resulting from a basic more...