Installs Jokes

The Ten Commandments
1. Thou shall not squeeze too hard on the opposite sexes genetalia
2. Thou shall not ask for a kiss, just give one or take one
3. Thou shall kiss at every given opportunity
4. If thou kissed someone, and was slapped, thou shalt not kiss her again.
5. Thou shall never bite when in the act of french kissing
6. Thou shall not pay for sexual intercourse
7. Thou shall not date members of state or Musicians
8. Thou shall not have sexual intercourse in public convieniences.
9. thou should never turn down free sexual intercourse
10. Procreate at will
Religions of the world
Taoism: Shit happens
Confucianism: Confucius say, shit happens
Hinduism: This shit has happened before
Buddhism: Shit happens, yet shit does not happen
Islam: Shit happens, is Allah wills
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to me?
Protestantism: Let shit happen to other people
Catholicism: If shit more...

Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 6. 0 to Wife 1. 0 and found
that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other
applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1. 0 also is spawning
Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources.

No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product
brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that
this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that,
Wife 1. 0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system
initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding
that some applications such as PokerNight 10. 3, BeerBash 2. 5, and
PubNight 7. 0 are no longer able to run, crashing the system when selected
(even though they always worked fine before). At installation, Wife 1. 0
automatically installs undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55. 8 more...

A very lonely old lady buys a parrot from a pet store, complete with cage. Before the purchase, she is given a guarantee that the bird will talk. Ten days later, she returns to the store, very disappointed.
"The parrot doesn't talk."
"Did you buy a mirror?"
"No."
"Every parrot needs a mirror."
So she buys a mirror and installs it in the cage.
Another ten days, and she's back at the pet shop.
"The parrot still doesn't talk."
"Did you buy a ladder?"
"No."
"Every parrot needs a ladder."
So she buys a ladder and installs it in the cage.
Guess what? Ten days later, she's back in the shop.
"The parrot still doesn't talk!"
"Did you buy a swing?"
"No."
"Every parrot needs a swing."
So she buys a swing and installs it in the cage.
You know, don't you - ten days later, she's back in the shop, and she's more...