Instructor Jokes / Recent Jokes
Mr. Smith wanted to become a teacher in the worst way, but the only job he could find was as an instructor at an all female college teaching sex education. His wife was a very jealous woman so Mr. Smith decided he would tell his wife that he would be teaching sailing at this college so that she would not get angry. He was very happy and for months all was well. As fate would have it, one day in the grocery store check out lane, Mrs. Smith overheard a group of girls standing in line behind her talking about college and their instructor Mr. Smith. The girls went on and on about how great this Mr. Smith was at teaching their class. The cashier handed Mrs. Smith her change and said, "Have a great day Mrs. Smith, and thank you, again." One of the girls in line heard the cashier, and asked Mrs. Smith if she was related to the Mr. Smith that was teaching at the college. Mrs. Smith replied, "Yes, he is my husband." Well that set off a torrent of accolades about how more...
Three men are going through CIA training, trying to become secret agents. They finally got through all their written and physical tests when they are pulled aside by one of the instructors who took them to a small room with another room adjacent to it. They brought the first guy's wife into the room and left her there. The instructor then loaded two rounds into a pistol, handed it to the first man saying, "Go kill your wife of five years." The trainee took the weapon, went into the next room. He came back out one minute later and said, "I can't do it." The instructor replied, "Then you fail out, so get out."The second candidate's wife was brought to the room. The instructor then loaded two rounds into a pistol, handed it to the second man and said, "Go kill your wife of ten years." The trainee took the weapon, went into the next room, but returned three minutes later and said, "I can't do it." The instructor replied, "Then you more...
1. Turn the radio on. When the instructor's hand reaches to turn
it off, slap his/her hand.
2.Rev the car really high, turn to the instructor, and say with an
evil look, "Buckle Up!"
3.Come dressed in a suit.Before the examiner gets in the car,
ask him/her to put a peice of saran wrap so he doesn't get the
seat dirty.
4. When the examiner tells you to stop, pop the hood clutch
and say, "oops!"
5.Get in the car, look down at the pedals, and say, "now which
one is the gas again?"
6.Fill your car with beer bottles.
7. After the instructor gets in the car, pop the hood, get out
and the oil.
8. Throughout the entire test, talk about how Aunt Gertrude
smells like mothballs.
9.Swear at everybody on the road.
10. Tell the Registar that you are taking the remidial test.
11. When your at a red light look back and forth between the
light and the person next to you.
12.Beep your horn at more...
You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.
19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.
You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.
21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc. . ).
23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Forget this!" and walk out triumphantly.
25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i. e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink)
26. Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, more...
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom
and his wife Grace listened to the instructor's advice: "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."The instructor addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it honey?"The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right here.
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan."Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher. "Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldnt hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand."Yes?" asked the instructor."Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"