Instructor Jokes / Recent Jokes
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?" "Sure. That's easy," said one man." What is it?" "H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O." "What, what?" reasked the instructor." H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
Q. My childbirth instructor says it`s not pain I`ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right? A. Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Flugg`s Law: When you need to knock on wood is when you realize that the world is composed of vinyl, naugahyde and aluminum.
Fourth Law of Applied Terror: The night before the English History mid-term, your Biology instructor will assign 200 pages on planaria. Corollary: Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor`s course.
Fourth Law of Revision: It is usually impractical to worry beforehand about interferences; if you have none, someone will make one for you.
Franklin`s Rule: Blessed is the end user who expects nothing, for he/she will not be disappointed.
Freeman`s Commentary on Ginsberg`s theorem: Every major philosophy that attempts to make life seem meaningful is based on the negation of one part of Ginsberg`s Theorem. To wit: 1. Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win. 2. Socialism is based on the assumption that you can break even. 3. Mysticism is based on the assumption more...
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.
"Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher. "Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"
The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.
"Yes?" asked the instructor.
"Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
a real tough guy i know went up for his first parachute jump.. when his time came the jump instructor said "jump"... tough guy started but then chickened out... once again the instructor commanded "jump"... tough guy started but chickened out again.. "look" said the instructor, "if you dont jump, i'm gonna fuck you right in the ass." so i asked tough guy, "did you jump"? "just a little at first" he replied.............
You instructor has a Grandmasters Certificate. In Crayon. The Senior Assistant Instructor is a 4 year old black belt. The sign in the window says the school trains in more than 10 martial arts. It's a Korean art. Your instructor tries to sell you Amway products. While examining the schools tournament trophies, you find 3 for spelling bees. Reading the contract for the school is considered a kata (and a long one at that). No one sweats. While at a tournament, your opponent finds out who your teacher is and high-fives his teacher. When paying for your belt examinations, the instructor asks: "Do you want fries with that?"
Fourth Law of Applied Terror: The night before the English History mid-term, your Biology instructor will assign 200 pages on planaria. Corollary: Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor's course.