Involved Jokes / Recent Jokes

A little old lady walked into the head branch of the Chase Manhattan
Bank holding a large paper bag in her hand. She told the young man
at the window that she wished to take the 3 million she had in the
bag and open an account with the bank. She said that first, though,
she wished to meet the president of Chase Manhattan Bank due to the
amount of money involved.

The teller seemed to think that was a reasonable request and after
opening the paper bag and seeing the bundles of 1, 000 bills which
amounted to right around 3 million, telephoned the bank's secretary
to obtain an appointment for the lady.

The lady was escorted upstairs and ushered into the president's
office. Introductions were made and she stated that she would like
to get to know the people she did business with on a more personal
level. The bank president then asked her where she came into such a
large amount of money. "Was it an more...

Bath: A process by which humans use to drench the floor, walls and themselves. Retaliate by shaking vigorously and frequently.

Bicycle: Two-wheeled human transport device useful for dogs to control body fat or reduce boredom. For maximum effect, hide behind a bush and upon approach of such human-operated device, dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards-the human will swerve and fall, thereupon you proudly, but quickly, prance away.

Bump-regular: The best way to get human attention while the human is drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea. To execute, maneuver your snout under the arm holding the liquid beverage. When your snout is properly positioned, with one smooth flowing action, bounce the human’s arm upward.

Bump-goose: A more involved maneuver than the bump-regular, requiring that you wrap your fore paws and legs around the human’s legs and begin climbing up the legs. This is a last resort when the bump-regular doesn’t get the more...

Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my husband's early films end with a scream and a flush.
Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald."
Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.
Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.
If it's attention you want, don't get involved with a more...

Three doctors died and went to the Pearly Gates to be interviewed to see where they would end up. St. Peter asked the first one what he did on earth, and he said he was an obstetrician. St. Peter asked what an obstetrician did and the doc told him. "Sounds pretty good; okay you can go in to Heaven."The second doc said he was a pediatrician and had to explain what that involved. St. Peter said, "Sounds very useful, very good-you can go in too."The third doc said he was the chief man in charge of a whole HMO conglomerate."Well, what's that?" asked St. Peter.So the doc told him exactly what that involved."Sounds very important, very useful. You can go in too."So the third doc goes in the Gates and starts to walk up the stairs. St. Peter turns and calls after him, "Oh, by the way, you can only stay three days."

There was once a Gujarati Bhai Patel, owning a shop,
living in USA, and he was involved in a car accident.
At the hospital, when he awoke, he called for the nurse to find out
what had happened to him.
I'm very sorry, sir, but you were involved in a very bad car crash.
"Car crash! My Corolla!! Is my car all right?" he asked
hysterically.

"Sir, your car was destroyed, but that is the least of your worries
- you lost your left arm in the crash, and we were unable to save
it," she said apologetically.
"I lost my arm? My Swiss Watch! My Swiss Watch!!"
"Sir, please calm down. That is the least of your worries. You are
in a very critical condition, but all your family is here to see
you."
He asked for his family to be called in. As they gathered around
the bed, he called for each of them by name.
"Alpa, are you here?"
"I am here dear, and I will more...