Iraqi Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: What’s the national bird of Iraq?
A: DUCK!
Q: What’s the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad?
A: You shout out, “B-52?
The latest from Saudi Arabia and Baghdad is that:
Americans claim they have air superiority over Iraq.
Iraqis claim they have air superiority over Iran.
Q: Why doesn’t Saddam go out drinking?
A: Why should he when he can get bombed at home?
Q: What does Saddam Hussein have in common with Fred Flinstone?
A: They both can look out of their window and see rubble!
Q: Have you heard about the new Royal Iraqi Air Force exercise program?
A: Each morning you raise your hands above your head and leave them there.
Q: What should Iraq get for its air defense system?
A: A refund.
Q: Who is an Iraqi Hero?
A: He’s the one that waited thirty seconds before he surrendered.
Q: Why did the Iraqi chicken cross the road?
A: To take over the other side.
Q. What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common? A. Nothing, yet.
Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving?
A: Turkey.
Q: What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common?
A: They both have Kurds in their Whey.
Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common?
A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from!
Q: What is the best Iraqi job?
A: Foreign Ambassador
Q: How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They can't turn them on anyway.
Q: How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but he does it from 30 miles away using laser targeting, and at a cost of US $8, 000,
000.
Q: "How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
A: "We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time."
Q: Did you hear that it is twice more...
Q: Why did the Saddam trade one of his thirteen wives for
a new toilet?
A: The hole was smaller and smelled better.
Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot and a Scud Missile?
A: Aeroflot has killed more people.
Q: What do you call two Iraqi women walking into a bar?
A: Incoming scuds!
Two Iraqis are chatting. One of them has his wallet out
and is flipping through pictures.
"This is my oldest. He's a martyr."
"Here's my second son. He's a martyr, too."
There's a pause. The second Iraqi says, wistfully, "Ah,
they blow up so fast, don't they?"
Top Least-Known Facts About Saddam Hussein
...Shares pain of economic embargo because he can only obtain
gold-plated replacement fixtures for solid gold bathtubs.
...Top scientists have finally unlocked technological secrets
of 8-track tapes and Pez dispensers, but have yet to procure
free HBO.
...Extensive private collection of Barbie dolls more...
During a news conference yesterday in Iraq, President Bush ducked two shoes that were thrown at him by an Arabic television correspondent. An Iraqi authority was asked if the man would be punished. "Of course, he will punished," the Iraqi authority said, "he missed."
"WHO WANTS TO WIN AN IRAQI OIL WELL".
This is how the game is played. A contestant will be required to pick the correct answer out of 4 possible answers. For each correct answer chosen, a contestant wins money. There are 16 steps to winning the oil well. From 1 through 15, the contestant wins a monetary price. The final question, number 16, if answered correctly, wins the contestant an oil well in Iraq. If at any level you fail to correctly answer a question or are unable to answer a question, you automatically are eliminated from the contest.
A contestant has three life lines to use at any time during the contest, and the life lines may used in any combination at any time. The life lines are:
A. Ask the studio audience.
(B) Use a 50/50, in which case two wrong answers are removed from the four answers.
(B) Phone a friend for help.
Host: Our first contestant is Georgie Boy. Welcome to the show, Georgie Boy. What do you do for a living? Do you more...
An Iraqi was walking on the beach when he was approached by a man. "Say Buddy," said the man, "How"d you like to take a cruise for $100?"
"Sure!" exclaimed the Iraqi. When he gave the man his money, the guy pulled out a black jack and hit him over the head. He pulled him down to the shore, put him in an inner tube and then shoved him off.
The next day, another Iraqi was walking on the beach, and was approached by the same man, in the same manner. Sure enough, when the second Albanian gave him his money, out came the black jack, and the second Albanian was on his way out to sea.
Several days had passed, and the two Iraqi's eventually ran into one another. "Hey Buddy," the second asked the first, "do they serve drinks on this cruise?"
"They probably won't." said the first, "They didn't last year."