Iraqi Jokes / Recent Jokes

Iraqi vs. American Average Iraqi Has visited the convergence of the Tigris and Euphrates, cradle of the ancient civilization founded by his ancestors Average American Once got really sick on the Wild Mouse ride at Six Flags theme park Average Iraqi Willing to participate in Holy War for his nation Average American Willing to participate in People's Choice Awards Average Iraqi Lines up by the thousands to die for country Average American Will go to any extreme to avoid jury duty Average Iraqi Has endured many food shortages during wars with Iran and embargo by West Average American Shoves McDonalds cashier if their Happy Meal doesn't include McCookies Average Iraqi Believes if he dies in battle, he will go straight to Paradise Average American Believes if, in a dream, you don't wake up before hitting the ground, you die Average Iraqi Has friend or relative wounded in ruthless wars of conquest Average American Has beer guzzling uncle who shot self in foot on hunting trip Average Iraqi more...

Iraqi BankingAn Iraqi goes to the bank to get his salary from a French Company. The Saudi manager of the bank asks him to sign on the back of the check."That`s humiliation," shouts the Iraqi, "why should the French sign on the front and I sign on the back. I want my money NOW!"The Saudi refuse to pay him and the Iraqi keeps shouting in the bank then the American high manager comes with a 5kg hammer and knocks the Iraqi on the head.After 5 minutes the Iraqi wakes up, signs the back of the check and gets his money. The Saudi clerk goes to the Iraqi and asks, "Tell me why you didn`t sign the check the first time but signed it later on?"The Iraqi said, "You missed the point, you just told it to me, but the American explained it."

Owners of Target franchises make plans to open stores back up again.
Instead of saying "We are under attack, please take shelter," citizens are now told, "Here we go again, you know the drill."
Everyone wears sunglasses all the time.
Sarcastic giggling heard just behind live CNN reporters.
Yesterday's lead headline in most Iraqi newspapers was "NBA Lockout Continues."
Every time a bomb explodes, Iraqi class clown yells out, "Oh my Allah, you've killed Achmet! You INFIDELS!"
Instead of running for cover at the sound of the air raid sirens, the Iraqis do the "Tomahawk Chop."
Hussein's latest address to the nation included the line, "We must resist the Great Satan, yadda yadda yadda...."
Christiane Amanpour is being invited to rooftop bomb watching parties all over Baghdad.
Baghdad High's senior class has playfully painted a bull's-eye on the roof of the school.
Iraqi Television Network more...

The problem with the Iraqi army is that they were using Russian defense tactics:

1. Engage the enemy.

2. Draw him into your territory.

3. Wait until winter sets in.

The Iraqi verions of the classic army regulations can be summarized as:

If it doesn't move, hide behind it.

If it does move, surrender to it.

Iraqi Air Force motto:

I came I saw Iran

One day, George W. Bush was leaving a very interesting meeting of the United Nations. Once stepping outside, he was met by the Iraqi ambassador, and he started to talk to George.
"You know, George, my children are here on this trip with me to the States, and they have gained interest in your television programs. They have especially like the television show Star Trek, although one thing is bothering them about it...The show shows how the races of the Earth can come together in the starship Enterprise, although, they have never seen an Iraqi citizen aboard the ship, and they were just wondering; Why is that?"
George chuckles a little and gives him a short answer to his question. "Because it takes place in the FUTURE!"

Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots?
A: You only have to teach them to take off!

Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots? A: You only have to teach them to take off!