Iraqi Jokes / Recent Jokes
The problem with the Iraqi army is that they were using Russian defense tactics: 1. Engage the enemy. 2. Draw him into your territory. 3. Wait until winter sets in. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Iraqi verions of the classic army regulations can be summarized as: If it doesn't move, hide behind it. If it does move, surrender to it. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Iraqi Air Force motto: I came I saw Iran
Q: What's the national bird of Iraq? A: DUCK! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad? A: You shout out, "B-52" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The latest from Saudi Arabia and Baghdad is that: Americans claim they have air superiority over Iraq. Iraqis claim they have air superiority over Iran. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: Why doesn't Saddam go out drinking? A: Why should he when he can get bombed at home? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: What does Saddam Hussein have in common with Fred Flinstone? A: They both can look out of their window and see rubble! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: Have you heard about the new Royal Iraqi Air Force exercise program? A: Each morning more...
Q: How do you get 30 Israelis into a telephone box?
A: Tell them it's air-tight
Q: How do you get 30 Americans into a telephone box?
A: Tell them it's got oil in it
Q: How do you get 30 French into a telephone box?
A: Tell them it's not in Iraq
Q: How do you get 30 Europeans into a telephone box?
A: Tell them there's no fighting involved
Q: How do you get 30 British politicians in a telephone box?
A: Tell them there are votes in it
Q: How do you get 30 Brits into a telephone box?
A: Tell them it's safer than a Tornado
Q: How do you get 30 British MI5 men into a telephone box?
A: Tell them an Iraqi lives there
Q: How do you get 30 British-resident Iraqis into a telephone box?
A: Tell the MI5 men it's Penton-ville Prison
Q: How do you get 30 Russians into a telephone box?
A: Tell them there's a slice of bread more...
Q: What's the national bird of Iraq?
A: DUCK!
Q: What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad?
A: You shout out, "B-52"
The latest from Saudi Arabia and Baghdad is that:
Americans claim they have air superiority over Iraq.
Iraqis claim they have air superiority over Iran.
Q: Why doesn't Saddam go out drinking?
A: Why should he when he can get bombed at home?
Q: What does Saddam Hussein have in common with Fred Flinstone?
A: They both can look out of their window and see rubble!
Q: Have you heard about the new Royal Iraqi Air Force exercise program?
A: Each morning you raise your hands above your head and leave them there.
Q: What should Iraq get for its air defense system?
A: A refund.
Q: Who is an Iraqi Hero?
A: He's the one that waited thirty seconds before he surrendered.
A Bama alum, a Tennesse alum and an Auburn alum have been captured by Iraqi forces and are about to be executed by firing squad.
First, the Bama alum is blindfolded and placed in front of the firing squad. The Iraqi officer said, "Ready, aim...."
The Bama alum yells "Sandstorm!" and all the Iraqis hit the dirt and the Bama alum runs away.
The Tennesse guy was placed in front of the firing squad. The officer said "Ready, aim.....";
The Tennesseean shouted " Tornado!!!!". All the Iraqis again hit the dirt while the Volunteer escaped.
The auburn guy thought this was great. When he was blindfolded, again the officer shouted "Ready, aim...."
The Aubie shouted "FIRE!"
Q. What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common? A. Nothing, yet. Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving? A: Turkey. Q: What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common? A: They both have Kurds in their Whey. Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common? A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from! Q: What is the best Iraqi job? A: Foreign AmbassadorQ: How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None. They can't turn them on anyway. Q: How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Only one, but he does it from 30 miles away using laser targeting, and at a cost of US $8, 000, 000. Q: "How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a light bulb?" A: "We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time." Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots? A: You only have to teach them to take off. Q: How do you play Iraqi bingo? A: B-52... more...
Why do Iraqi police officers walk in threes? The first knows how to read, the second knows how to write and the third is to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.