Jail Jokes / Recent Jokes
I was reading a description of Paris Hilton being taken to jail today. It went like this:
It said that she was handcuffed and taken from her house crying hysterically. She was then escorted to court disheveled, without makeup, hair askew and face red with tears. Throughout the court proceedings she cried for her mother to help her.
And that's when I came.
why did the police-man pu him self in jail? Because he had no one to put in jail!!
Why did the police-man put him self in jail? Because he had no one to put in jail!!
Mike Tyson gets out of jail and proceeds to do what he does best... find a woman with whom he may "commiserate". After a wild night of getting it on, it's time for the young lady to leave. As she's getting dressed, she and Mike are having a conversation. She says, "Lotsa guys want to know how it was. Well, I have good news and bad news for you. Which would you like first?" Mike thinks for a moment and says, "What the hell, give me the good news." She tells him, "The good news is that you're bigger than Magic Johnson."
There is a story about a king in Africa who had a close friend that he grew up with. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!"
One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off. Examining the situation the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!" To which the king replied, "No, this is NOT good!" and proceeded to send his friend to jail.
About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took them to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake.
As they came near to set fire to the wood, they more...
Three men are in the same jail cell. Not knowing anything else to do, they start asking each other why the're in jail. So the first guy says that he is doing 5 years for robbing a bank. The second guy says thats nothing, Im doing 25 years for murdering my wife. The third guy says that he is sitting for 50 years for opening the window during office hours. The first guy is surprised: they put people in jail for that? The second guy asks the third where he worked, to which the guy replies: Nuclear submarine.