Jane Jokes / Recent Jokes

Tarzan was tired when he came home. "What have you been doing", asked Jane. "Chasing a herd of elephants on vines" "Really? ", said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground! "

Jane had a system for labeling homemade freezer meals.


She would carefully note in large clear letters,"Meatloaf" or "Pot Roast" or "Steak and Vegetables" or"Chicken and Dumplings" or "Beef Pot Pie."


Everyday when she asked her husband what he wanted for dinner, he never asked for any of those meals. She decided to stock the freezer with his various requests. What he really likes.


In Jane's freezer now you'll see a whole new set of labels. You'll find dinners with neat little tags that say: "Whatever," "Anything," "I Don't Know," "I Don't Care," "Something Good," or "Food."


No more frustration for Jane because no matter what her husband replies when she asks him what he wants for
dinner, it's there waiting.

One day, Little Johnny's teacher asked the class "Children, who can answer this question, please raise your hand!"
"Mention things you can suck!"
"Ice cream, mam!" Little Jane answered.
"Good, Jane." the teacher said, "Anyone else?"
"It's a lollipop!" said Little Steven.
"Very good, now it's your turn Johnny!" the teacher said.
Little Johnny, sitting at back then answered, "I think it's lamp!"
The teacher and all of the students wondered about Little Johnny's answer. The teacher asked him, "Johnny, how do you think we can suck lamp?"
"Well, last night when I passed my parents' bedroom", Little Johnny said, "I heard my mom said, please turn off the lamp, honey, and let me suck it!"

Bob and Jane get married and are on their honey moon. They are about to get busy when Jane says that she is a virgin. Bob runs to the kitchen and calls his dad.
Bob says, "Dad you gotta help me, jane just told me that she is still a virgin, what do I do?"
Dad says, "get rid of her right now!!!"
Bob, "Why I love her, why should I leave her?"
Dad says, "Because if she ain't good enough for her brother, mom, or dad, then she ain't good enough for us."

Two managers are going over their budget for the next year. After analyzing expenses and revenues, they come to the conclusion that they will have to lay off one of their two assistants, Jack or Jane. They go back and forth but can't decide who to lay off. Finally, one manager decides that they lay off the first person who gets up from their desk. In the meantime, Jane is hard at work but suddenly gets a headache. She gets some aspirin from her desk drawer and gets up from her desk to get some water. One of the managers gets up to break the bad news to Jane. Manager: "Jane, I need to talk to you. I've got a problem. I either need to lay you or Jack off..." Jane: "Well, jack-off. I've got a headache."

Q. If Tarzan and Jane were Italian, what would Cheetah be?A. The least hairy of the three.

Q: If Tarzan and Jane were blondes, what would Cheetah be?
A: The smartest of the three.