Jane Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be? A: A fur coat.

Mary Jane was walking on the beach one day and saw a shark swimming around a man. The man was screaming, "Help me! Help me!"Mary Jane laughed and laughed! She knew that the shark was never going tohelp that man!

Dick and Jane were arguing furiously over the breakfast table. Oh youre so stupid! shouted Dick. Dick! said their father, thats quite enough of that! Now say youre sorry. OK, said Dick. Jane, Im sorry youre stupid.

Question and answer Clinton jokes
Q: How do you break a Bill Clinton supporter`s finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.

Q: What does Jeffrey Dahmer`s victims and The Clintons` hair styles have in common?
A: They both look like the work of a butcher.

Q: If The Clinton`s were younger, do you think they would have known the Clampents?
A: Possibly, Bill might have made Jethro`s acquaintance in the 6th grade.

Q: Why doesn`t Hillary cut Bill`s hair?
A: He won`t pay her $300.

Q: What are the two worst things about Bill Clinton?
A: His face.

Q: What is the Arkansas state flower?
A: Gennifer.

Q: Know how to solve the Serbian/Bosnian problem in less than 48 hours?
A: Put Janet Reno in charge.

Q: What`s the difference between a Bill Clinton and a carp?
A: One`s a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other`s a fish.

Q: What`s the difference between Hillary Clinton and a more...

The manager of ladies' dress shop realized it was time to give one her sale clerks a' pep talk'.

"Jane, your figures are well below any of our other salespeople's. In fact, unless you can improve your sales record soon, I'm afraid you'll have to let you go."

"I'm sorry, Ma'am," said a humbled Jane. "Can you give me any advice on how to do better?"

"Well, there is an old trick I can tell you about. It sounds silly, but it's worked for me in the past. Get hold of a dictionary and go through it until you come to a word that had particular power for you. Memorize it, work it into your sales pitch whenever it seems appropriate, and
you'll be amazed at the results."

Sure enough, Jane's sales figures went way up, and at the end of the month, the manager called her in again and congratulated her. "Did you try my little trick?" she asked.

Jane nodded. "It took me a whole weekend more...

Last summer, when the power mower was broken and wouldn't run Jane
kept hinting to Dick, her husband, that he needed to get it fixed.
However, for some reason the message wasn't sinking in.
She finally thought of a clever way to make the point. When Dick
arrived home that day, he found her seated in the tall grass busily
clipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
He watched silently for a short time, then went into the house. Jane
thought she had again failed to get his attention. He was gone only a
few moments, and when he came out again he handed her a toothbrush
saying, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep
the sidewalks."

Here's a list of some cute letters kids have written to God:

Dear GOD:
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones You have? - Jane

Dear GOD:
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. - Larry

Dear GOD:
If You watch me in church on Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes. - Mickey

Dear GOD:
I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. - Nan

Dear GOD:
In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? - Jane

Dear GOD:
I read the Bible. What does "beget" mean? Nobody will tell me. - Love, Alison

Dear GOD:
Are You really invisible or is it just a trick? - Lucy

Dear GOD:
Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling more...