Jane Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sue and Jane are shopping together at the supermarket. When they get to the vegetables, Sue hefts a good sized potato in each hand and says, "You know, Jane, these remind me of John's balls."

Jane, impressed says, "Hmm, that big, huh?"

"No", Sue answers. "That dirty."

A new primary school teacher, starting her first day of class, began by asking her students to stand up and introduce themselves.
The first child stood up and said, "My name is Jane Lawrence." "Hello, Jane," the teacher said.
The second student stood and said, "My name is Jason Wright." Hello, Jason," said the teacher.
The third student stood and said, "My name is Johnny Fuckhour."
Horrified, the teacher told Johnny that she would not tolerate that type of language. "Really, teacher, my name is Johnny Fuckhour," Johnny explained. "If you don't believe me, check up in the fourth grade where my brother is."
The teacher went up to the fourth grade and asked, "Do you have a Fuckhour in here."
A boy at the back of the class stood up and said, "Are you kidding? Hell, we don't even get a nap hour."

Q: What is the difference between Dan Quayle, Bill Clinton and Jane Fonda? A: Jane Fonda went to Vietnam.

The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words. She thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children examples of words with more than one syllable.
"Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words?"
"After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday."
"Great Jane. That has two syllables, Mon...... day"
"Does anyone know another word."
"I do! I do!" replied Johnny.
Knowing Johnny's more mature sense of humor she picks Mike instead.
"OK Mike, what is your word."
"Saturday." says Mike.
"Great, that has three syllables..."
Not wanting to be outdone Johnny says "I know a four syllable word. Pick me! Pick me!"
Not thinking he can do any harm with a word that large the teacher reluctantly says, "O. K. Johnny what is your four syllable word?"
Johnny proudly says, "Mas... tur... ba... more...

What is the difference between en elephant and a plum? An elephant is grey.What does Jane say when she sees a herd of elephants in the distance?"Look! A herd of plums in the distance" (Jane is colorblind)

"Do you really believe your husband when he tells you he goes fishing every weekend?" asked Jane's best friend. "Why shouldn't I?" said Jane. "Well, maybe he is having an affair?" "No way" said Jane "he never returns with any fish..."

"So," Jane asked the detective she had hired. "Did you trail my husband?"

"Yes ma'am. I did. I followed him to a bar, to an out-of-the-way restaurant and then to an apartment."

A big smile crossed Jane's face. "Aha! I've got him!" she said gloating. "Is there any doubt what he was doing?"

"No ma'am." replied the sleuth, "It's pretty clear that he was following you."