Jedi Jokes / Recent Jokes
Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.You have ever used your lightsaber to open a bottle of Jack Daniel's.You think the best use of your lightsaber is picking your teeth.At least one wing of your X-Wing is Bondo colored.There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the dark side... it'll be a hoot."You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the bar-b-q grill to light.The moonshine still you built on Endor is hidden so well even the Ewoks can't find it.
You have a stuffed womp rat anywhere in your home. You think the symbol for the Rebel Alliance should be the Confederate flag. More than half the droids you own don't function. The number of blasters you own exceeds your I.Q. You wonder why Luke and Leia gave up on getting married. You used a carbon-freezing chamber to mount the Wampa you shot while on vacation on Hoth.Your moonshine is made on a real moon.You don't like wearing a Jedi robe because it prevents access to the dip stored in your back pocket.
Sandpeople back down from your mama.You've ever used Jedi mind control to talk your way out of a speeding ticket or DUI.You've ever strangled someone with the force because they laughed at your accent.You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok... without using the word "chicken".You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.A peaceful meditation session is one without gas.
YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK JEDI IF...
1. You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
2. Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
3. You have ever used your Light Saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.
4. At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.
5. You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
6. You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.
7. The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
8. Wookies are offended by your B. O.
9. You have ever used the force to get yourself another Bud Light so you didn't miss a NASCAR interview with any of the Allisons.
10. You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
11. Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son, come on over to the dark side. .. it'll be a hoot."
12. You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.
13. You have a more...
You might be a reneck if...
You re-use dental floss to save money.
You've ever drunk mouthwash just because you're too lazy to walk down to the liquor store.
Your homecoming basketball game was rained out.
Your baseball bat "ain't never been used on a ball, but it's sure hit plenty of other things."
You've ever shot a mouse inside your home. You might be a redneck Jedi if...
Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.
You have ever used your lightsaber to open a bottle of Jack Daniel's.
You think the best use of your lightsaber is picking your teeth.
At least one wing of your X-Wing is Bondo colored.
There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.
You Might be a Redneck Jedi if...
Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.
You have ever used your lightsaber to open a bottle of Jack Daniel's.
You think the best use of your lightsaber is picking your teeth.
At least one wing of your X-Wing is Bondo colored.
There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.
You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok without using the word' chicken'.
You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.
A peaceful meditation session is one without gas.
You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE force.
Your master ever said,' My finger you will pull..hmmm?'
You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
You ever lost a hand during a more...