Jerusalem Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bill went on a vacation to the Middle East with most of his family including his mother-in-law. During their vacation and while they were visiting Jerusalem, Bill's mother-in-law died. With the death certificate in hand, Bill went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the States for proper burial.
The Consul after hearing of the death of the mother-in-law told Bill, "My friend, the cost of sending of a body back to the States for burial is very very expensive. It could cost as much as $5,000.00 dollars."
The Consul continues, in most cases the person responsible for the remains, normally decides to bury the body here. This would only cost $150.00 dollars. Bill thinks for some time and answers the Consul, "I don't care how much it will cost to send the body back; that's what I want to do."
The Consul after hearing this says, "You must have loved your mother-in-law very much considering the difference in price more...

A man was travelling from Jerusalem to Jericho when he was at tacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes and money, beat him up and left him half dead on the roadside. By chance, a priest came along, but when he saw the man lying there, he crossed to the other side of, the road and passed by. Then a rabbi came along and saw the man, but he, too, passed by on the other side. Lastly, a social worker approached. He stopped, examined the man, looked deeply concerned and declared, "Whoever did this needs help."

George went on a vacation to the Middle East with his Family including his mother-in-law. During their vacation in Jerusalem
George's Mother-in-law died. With the death certificate in his hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the United States for a proper burial.
The Consul told George that to send the body back to the United States for burial is very, very expensive. It could cost him as much as $5, 000. 00. The Consul told him, in most cases the person responsible for the remains normally decides to bury the body here in Jerusalem. This would only cost him $150. 00.
George thinks for sometime and answers, "I don't care how much it will cost to send the body back; that's what I want to do." The Consul says "You must have loved your Mother-in-law very much considering the difference in price."
"No, it's not that," says George. "You see, I know of a case many, many years more...

In Jerusalem, a female journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who hadbeen going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall andthere he was! She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when heturned to leave, she approached him for an interview."I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to theWestern Wall and praying?""For about 60 years.""60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?""I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray forall the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safetyand friendship.""How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?""Like I'm talking to a fucking wall."

Fred and his family, including his mother-in-law, were vacationing in the Middle East. While they were visiting Jerusalem, Fred's mother-in-law died.
With her death certificate in hand, Fred went to the American Consulate Office to arrange to have her body sent back to the States for proper burial.
After hearing of the mother-in-law's death, the Consul told Fred that it would be extremely expensive to have the body returned to the States for burial. The Consul advised him that it could cost as much as $5000.
Continuing, the Consul said, "In most cases, the person responsible for the remains normally decides to bury the body here. The cost for that would be approximately $200."
Fred thought about it for a short time and replied, "It doesn't matter what the cost will be to send the body back, that's definitely what I want to do."
"You must have loved your mother-in-law very deeply considering the difference in price," said the more...