Jeweler Jokes

A man walks into a jewelry store on a friday with a sexy blond on tow.
"We would like to have a look at your ring collection" the man says to the jeweler.
The jeweler shows him a couple of rings in the R10k range....
"No" the man replies, "i'm looking for something REALLY nice".
The jeweler then takes him to the back, into the safe and past the security guards to the seriously expensive rings.
The man selects the most impressive one and asks the jeweler - -How much for this one?
R250k replies the jeweler, while watching the blond's face light up like a christmas tree.
OK, i will take it says the man, but can i pay by cheque?
"I am afraid we do not accept cheques" replies the jeweler.
OK says the man- How about i write you the cheque, then you keep the ring and the cheque until the cheque clears, and only then will we pick the ring up.
Fantastic plan, says the jeweler!!
Then the man leaves the jewelry more...

Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very ritzy jewelery shop.

The jeweler inquired,' Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?'

Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered,' No, instead engrave "To my one and only love".'

The jeweler smiled and said,' Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.'

Roger retorted with a glint in his eye,' Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.'

Q: What did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
A: You are the light of my life.

Q: Why did the golfer take and extra pair of pants for his Saturday round of golf?
A: In case he got a hole in one.

Q. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers?
A. In case he got a hole in one!

Q: What flowers have two lips?
A: Tulips

Q: They travel all over the world but end up in the corner, what are they?
A: Stamps

Q: Why didn't the farmer cry when his dairy cow fell off the cliff?
A: There's no use crying over split milk.

Q: Ten copycats were sitting in a boat, and one jumped out. How many were left?
A: None. They were all copycats.

Q: What is the difference between a jeweler and a jailor?
A: A jeweler sells watches. A jailer watches cells.

Q: What is a bachelor?
A: A man who never Mrs. (misses) anyone.

Q: Why do cows have bells?
A: Because more...

An
older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store
one Friday
evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told
the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his
girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought
out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man
said, "I don't think you understand, I want something
very special."
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special
stock and brought another ring over. "Here's
a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler
said.
The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body
trembled
with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll
take it."
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the
old man stated, by check. " I know you need to
make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and
you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and
I'll pick the ring up Monday more...

A white haired, old man walked into a jeweler's shop late one Friday, with a beautiful young lady on his side. "I'm looking for a special ring for my girlfriend" he said. The jeweler looks through his stock, and takes out an outstanding ring priced at $5, 000. "I don't think you understand. .. I want something very unique," he said. At that, the jeweler went and fetched his special stock from the safe. "Here's one stunning ring at $40, 000." The girls' eyes sparkled, and the man said that he would take it. "How are you paying?" "I'll pay by check, but of course you would want to make sure that everything is in order, so I'll write a check and you can phone the bank tomorrow, then I'll fetch the ring on Monday". Monday morning a very pissed off jeweler phones the man. " You bastard, you lied, there's no money in that account" "I know, but can you imagine what a fantastic weekend I had?"