Jill Jokes / Recent Jokes

If Scientists Wrote Nursery Rhymes How many can you solve? (Answers below)1. A research team proceeded toward the apex of a natural geologicprotuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement ofa sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact sizeof which was unspecified. One member of the team precipitantly descended, sustaining severe fractural damage to the upper cranial portion of hisanatomical structure. Subsequently, the second member of the teamperformed a self-rotational translation oriented in the direction takenby the first member.2. Complications arose during an investigation of dietary influence: oneresearcher was unable to assimilate adipose tissue and another was unableto consume tissue consisting chiefly of muscle fiber. By reciprocalarrangement between the two researchers, total consumption of the viandsunder consideration was achieved, this leaving the original container ofthe viands devoid of contents.3. A young male human was situated more...

Jill and John got married. John thought this
would be a "marriage of the 90's" -- equal roles for equal partners. So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, he brought Jill breakfast in bed. Jill wasn't impressed with his culinary skills, however. She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted, "Poached? I wanted scrambled!"Undaunted, the next morning, John brought his true love a scrambled egg. Jill wasn't having any of it. "Do you think I don't like variety? I wanted poached this morning!"Determined to please Jill, the next morning he thought, "third time's a charm" and brought her two eggs -- one scrambled and one poached."Here, my love, enjoy!" Jill looks at the plate and says, "You scrambled the wrong egg."

Jill calls her friend Linda, Linda picks up the phone.
Jill: "Do ya wanna go to the mall with me?"
Linda: "Why?"
Jill: "I need to study cosmetics"
Linda: "Why?"
Jill: "Well, my English teacher says,' I have a make-up exam on Monday

Jill's car was unreliable and she called John for a ride every time it broke down. One day John got yet another one of those calls. "What happened this time?" he asked. "My brakes went out," Jill said. "Can you come to get me?" "Where are you?" John asked. "I'm in the drugstore," Jill responded. "And where's the car?" John asked. Jill replied, "It's in here with me."

jack and jill went up the hill so jack could lick jills fanny
jack got a shock and a mouthfull of cock coz jill is a fucking tranny

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, unzipped his fly, and Jill said "I don't wanna"Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun. Stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

A math teacher gets called to the principal's office one day and the principal says to him, "We need a new Sex-Ed teacher and you are it."
The Math teacher exclaims, "But I have never taught Sex-Ed before what am I going do?"
The principal replies, "Well, you have until Monday to think of something, because that is when the class starts."
The math teacher decides that he is going to use flash cards to teach the Sex-Ed class, because they have worked extremely well in teaching his math class.
On Monday morning, the teacher is feeling very confidant. He walks into the room, and begins to teach the class. He holds up the first flash card and asks, "Can anybody tell me what this is?"
Little Jill stands up and replies, "That's a breast and my mommy has two."
The math teacher says, "That's right Jill! It is a breast, and your mommy does have two."
The math teacher grabs the next flash card and asks, more...