Jill Jokes / Recent Jokes
Todd and Jill had just gotten back from the honeymoon, and were having their first fight, and it was a big one. No matter what Todd tried to say or do, Jill refused to compromise, or even listen. He started growing exasperated.
After a while, Todd said "When we got married, you promised to love, honor and obey."
Jill replied, "I know. But I didn't want to start an argument in front of all those people at the wedding."
An office manager had money problems had to fire an employee, either Jack or Jill... He thought he`d fire the employee who came late to work the next morning.
Well, both employees came to work very early. Then the manager thought he would catch the first one who took a coffee break. Unfortunately, neither employee took a coffee break.
Then the manager decided to see who took the longest lunch break - strangely, neither Jack nor Jill took a lunch break that day, they both ate at their desk. Then the manager thought he`d wait see who would leave work the earliest and both employees stayed after closing.
Jill finally went to the coat rack the manager went up to her said,
"Jill, I have a terrible problem. I don`t know whether to lay you or Jack off."
Jill said, "Well, you`d better jack off, because I`m late for my bus."
Jill: I just don't understand the attraction golf holds for men.
Mary: Tell me about it! I went golfing with my husband one time, and he told me I asked too many questions!
Jill: Well, I'm sure you were just trying to understand the game. What questions did you ask?
Mary: I thought I asked legitimate questions... like, "Why did you hit the ball into that lake?"
Jill: I just don't understand the attraction golf holds for men.Mary: Tell me about it! I went golfing with my husband one time, and he told me I asked too many questions!Jill: Well, I'm sure you were just trying to understand the game. What questions did you ask?Mary: I thought I asked legitimate questions...like, "Why did you hit the ball into that lake?"
JACK & JILL WENT UP THE HILL TO SMOKE SOME MARJUANA JACK GOT HIGH POPED HIS FLY & JILL SAID YA I WANNA JILL LIFTED UP HER SCURT AND DID THE HANKY PANKY. STUPID JILL FORGOT THE PILL AND OUT POPED LITTLE FRANKY.
Jack was going to be married to Jill, so his father sat him down for a little fireside chat...
He says "Jack, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants and handed them to your mother, and said, here - try these on."
So, she did and said, "These are too big, I can't wear them".
I replied, "...exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. Ever since that night we have never had any problems."
"Hmmm," says Jack. He thinks that might be a good thing to try.
So on his honeymoon, Jack takes off his pants and says to Jill, "Here try these on."
So she does and says, "these are too large, they don't fit me."
Jack says, "...exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will, and I don't want you to ever forget that."
Then Jill takes off her pants and hands them to Jack and says, "Here, you try on mine."
So he more...