Jill Jokes / Recent Jokes
Linda and Jill are having coffee when Linda notices that Jill seems troubled and asks her, "Is something bugging you? You look anxious."
"Well, my boyfriend just lost all his money and life savings in the stock market," Jill explained.
"Oh, that's too bad," Linda sympathized. "I'm sure you're feeling sorry for him."
"Yeah, I am," Jill said. "He'll miss me."
Jill tells her husband, "Jack, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses. Now, why can't you do that?""Gosh," Jack says, "why I hardly know the girl."
Andy noticed that little Jill was wearing a medical alert bracelet and asked her what it was for.
"I have to wear it because I'm allergic to nuts and eggs," Jill explained.
"Gosh, are you allergic to cats too?" asked Andy.
"I'm not sure," replied Jill. "I haven't eaten one yet."
In a company there are two employees, Jack and Jill. Both have been model
employees and have been much valued by the firm. However, due to financial
setbacks, the company is forced to let one of them go. But which one?
The boss decides on a plan. He will watch Jack closely for one day,
monitoring his performance. The next day, he will similarly scrutinize
Jill. Then he will announce which one he is going to keep and which one
will have to be fired.
The first day, Jack comes in early. He works hard all morning, not even
taking a coffee break. He skips lunch. He works hard all afternoon,
doesn't spend any time on the phone, and leaves late.
Noticing this, the boss begins to think, "If they're both such diligent
workers, the choice is going to be even harder."
The next day, Jill comes in late, complaining of a headache. She takes some
aspirin and hangs out at the water fountain talking to her friends. She
takes an extra more...
Two african american kids (a boy and a girl) go out trick or treating and
stop at a lady's house for candy.
Lady: Who are you two supposed to be?
Kids: Hansel and Gretel
Lady: You can't be Hansel and Gretel, they're white.
So the kids went home and changed and went back to the lady's house.
Lady: Now who are you supposed to be?
Kids: Jack and Jill.
Lady: You can't be Jack and Jill, they're white.
Then the kids went home to change again but went back to the lady's house
with nothing on this time.
Lady: What are you supposed to be this time?
Kids: Hershey bars, one with nuts and one without.
If Scientists Wrote Nursery Rhymes How many can you solve? (Answers below)1. A research team proceeded toward the apex of a natural geologicprotuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement ofa sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact sizeof which was unspecified. One member of the team precipitantly descended, sustaining severe fractural damage to the upper cranial portion of hisanatomical structure. Subsequently, the second member of the teamperformed a self-rotational translation oriented in the direction takenby the first member. 2. Complications arose during an investigation of dietary influence: oneresearcher was unable to assimilate adipose tissue and another was unableto consume tissue consisting chiefly of muscle fiber. By reciprocalarrangement between the two researchers, total consumption of the viandsunder consideration was achieved, this leaving the original container ofthe viands devoid of contents. 3. A young male human was more...