Jill Jokes / Recent Jokes

Jill tells her husband, "Jack, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses. Now, why can't you do that?" "Gosh," Jack says, "why I hardly know the girl."

{it is a ryhme}
Jack an Jill
Jack and Jill went up a hill
to smoke some marajanwa
Jack got high
and Jill asked do you wanna

Jill phoned her husband, John, at work for a chat. "I'm sorry dear," said John, "but I'm up to my neck in work today. I don't have time to chat." Jill replied, "But I've got some good news and some bad news for you, dear." "OK darling," said John, "but as I've got no time right now, just give me the good news." "Okay," agreed Jill. "Well, the air bag works...bye!"

Jills car was unreliable and she called John for a ride every time it broke down. One day John got yet another one of those calls. "What happened this time?" he asked. "My brakes went out," Jill said. "Can you come to get me?""Where are you?" John asked. "Im in the drugstore," Jill responded. "And wheres the car?" John asked. Jill replied, "Its in here with me."

An office manager had money problems and had to fire an employee, either Jack or Jill. He thought he'd fire the employee who came to work late.
The next morning, both employees came to work very early. So the manager thought he would fire the first one who took a coffee break. Unfortunately, neither employee took a coffee break.
Then the manager decided to see who took the longest lunch break. Strangely, neither Jack nor Jill took a lunch break that day. They both ate at their desk.
Then the manager thought he'd wait to see who would leave work earliest, but both employees stayed after closing. Jill finally went to the coat rack and the manager went up to her and said, "Jill, I have a terrible problem. I don't know whether to lay you or Jack off."
Jill said, "Well, you'd better jack off, because I'm late for my bus."

Jill: How did you find the weather on your vacation? Bill: I just went outside and there it was!

Jill and John got married. John thought this
would be a "marriage of the 90's" -- equal roles for equal partners.
So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, he brought Jill breakfast in bed. Jill wasn't impressed with his culinary skills, however. She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted, "Poached? I wanted scrambled!"
Undaunted, the next morning, John brought his true love a scrambled egg. Jill wasn't having any of it. "Do you think I don't like variety? I wanted poached this morning!"
Determined to please Jill, the next morning he thought, "third time's a charm" and brought her two eggs -- one scrambled and one poached."Here, my love, enjoy!" Jill looks at the plate and says, "You scrambled the wrong egg."