Jill Jokes / Recent Jokes

Mary went to Jill's place to tell her about a horrible experience she'dhad the previous night with this bloke she brought home."Well, what happened when you got there?" Jill asked "The bastard called me a slut!" Mary said."And what did you do then?" Jill asked, shocked."I told him to get the fuck out of my bedroom and take his eightmates with him!" Mary said.

Jill tells her husband, "Jack, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses. Now, why cant you do that?""Gosh," Jack says, "why I hardly know the girl."

Mr. Rupert was upset because his boss, Mr. Clark, told him to reduce his two-person division by half. That meant he had to fire eiiher Jack or Jill, both of whom he deeply respected.
Troubled by the prospect, he called Jill into his office and shut the door. Mr. Clark happened to be passing by just then and waited to see what would happen; a few seconds later the beautiful young woman stormed from Mr. Rupert's office, grabbed her purse, and left the building.
Mr. Clark walked over to the dismayed Mr. Rupert.
"I see you decided to fire Jill."
Mr. Rupert shook his head. "No sir, I never got that far."
"What do you mean?" asked his surprised boss.
"Well, sir, all I said was,' JH, I don't know whether to lay you or Jack off,' and she was gone!"

There was 2 college students one was named Jack and the other was Jill.One day at a dinner Jack said "Jill, can I put my finger in your belly button?" Jill replied"Sure" So 5 minutes later jill screamed "Jack thats not my belly button!" and jack replied " and this is not my finger!"

Jill and John got married. John thought this would be a "marriage of the 90's" -- equal roles for equal partners. So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, he brought Jill breakfast in bed. Jill wasn't impressed with his culinary skills, however. She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted, "Poached? I wanted scrambled!" Undaunted, the next morning, John brought his true love a scrambled egg. Jill wasn't having any of it. "Do you think I don't like variety? I wanted poached this morning!" Determined to please Jill, the next morning he thought, "third time's a charm" and brought her two eggs -- one scrambled and one poached."Here, my love, enjoy!" Jill looks at the plate and says, "You scrambled the wrong egg."

So this new bar opens and the owner can't think of a name. So he decides to name the bar after the 3rd person who walks in. It dosen't take long and soon the 3rd customer walks in. The owner jumps up and walks over to the girl. You're the 3rd person to enter my bar and I'm going to name it after you. Okay, she says, my name is Jill. The owner looks her over and says, I like your legs so I'm going to name the bar' Jill's Legs' The next day a bum is sitting outside the bar and a cop askes him what he's doing. He answers, Waiting for Jill's Legs to open so I can get a drink!

1 JACK AND JILL Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
2 MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.
3 HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.
4 HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.
5 There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad...
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car!!