Jogging Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bill Clinton was out jogging one morning, when he came to an apartment complex.
Sitting outside on the steps was a cute little girl with a big box.
As Bill jogged closer, he could see that the box was full of adorable puppies.
He went to the little girl and said "Awww...those are the cutest puppies"
The little girl said "These aren't puppies. I call them Democrats."
Bill thought this was really sweet and said "Well, that's so sweet!"
A few days later, Hillary was jogging with Bill when they came to the same building with the little girl outside.
The girl was still there with the box. Bill nudged Hillary and said "Watch this."
He asked the little girl, "What have you got there? Puppies?"
The little girl shook her head and said "No, not puppies, I call them Republicans."
Bill was shocked. He said "But I thought you said they were Democrats???"
The little girl said more...

Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. "What's this little pocket thing here on the side for?" "Oh, that's to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you've jogged too far."

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I've only been jogging once and feel ten years older already.

Larry, a local football star, is jogging down the street when he sees abuilding on fire. A lady is standing on a third story ledge holding herpet cat in her arms." Hey, lady," yells Larry, "Throw me the cat." "No," she cries, "It's too far." "I play football, I can catch him." The smoke is pouring from the windows, and finally, the woman waves toLarry, kisses her cat goodbye, and tosses it down to the street. Larry keeps his eye on the cat as it comes hurtling down toward him. The feline bounces off an awning and Larry runs into the street to catchit. He jumps six feet into the air and makes a spectacular one handedcatch. The crowd that has gathered to watch the fire breaks intocheers. Larry does a little dance, lifts the cat above his head, wiggles hisknees back and forth, then spikes the cat into the pavement.

Bill Clinton went jogging one evening and came upon the Washington Monument.

He said, "George, what should I do?"
After a few seconds, George replied,
"Abolish the IRS and start over."

Bill thought about this for a few seconds and continued jogging. Shortly he came upon the Jefferson Memorial and stopped there. He said, "Tom, what should I do?"
After a few seconds, Tom replied,
"Abolish welfare and start over."

Bill continued jogging after thinking about this and came upon the Lincoln Memorial.He said, "Abe, what should I do?"
After a few seconds, Abe replied,
"Why don't you take the night off and go to the theater?"

Why wont pigs take up jogging? They dont like to get that far from the table.

Handsome hunk is jogging down the beach when he sees a girl in a
wheelchair sitting on a pier crying. He runs over and asks why she's
crying.
"I've never been kissed," she sobs. So the hunk lifts her up,
cradles her in his arms, and gives her a long, passionate kiss.
"Now," he says, "you've been kissed." He puts her back in her chair
and continues to run.
A week later, he's out jogging again when he sees the same girl on
the same pier, crying again.
"What is it this time?" he asks.
"I've never been screwed," the girl sobs.
Again, the hunk picks her up and cradles her gently. He slowly
moves to the end of the pier, kissing her as he did the first time.
Suddenly, he throws her as far out in the water as he can.
"Now," he calls to her, "you're screwed."