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If I had 1 wish this Christmas, it would be for all the children of the world
to join together in peace and love and sing in harmony.
If I had 2 wishes this Christmas, it would be for:
1. All the Children of the world to sing together
2. $1, 000, 000 tax free
If I had 3 wishes this Christmas:
1. Kids singing together
2. $1, 000, 000 tax free per year for life
3. To have all encompassing power over the universe
If I had 4 wishes this Christmas:
1. The crap about the kids
2. $1, 000, 000
3. All encompassing power
4. 1 extended orgasm to last 30 days, brought about by 2 supermodels and, of
course, my wife
Let's face it, the logistics of getting all those kids together is impossible.
So, let's rearrange
1. All encompassing power
2. The orgasm
3. The money
OH! I forgot to strike down my enemies. Okay, so we add that in.
Now, my wish this Christmas would be:
1. The power
2. To more...

A friend and I were golfing one day when at the 18th hole this guy comes out of nowhere and asks if he could join us.
I tell him, "Well, we're just about done but if you want to join us tomorrow you can. We start at 8 o'clock."
He said, "Great! I'll be here at 8 o'clock, maybe 8:35..."
So next day he shows up at 8 o'clock and plays scratch golf; he was good. We were going to play again the next day and we invited him to join us.
He said, "Great! I'll be here at 8 o'clock, maybe 8:35..."
So the next day he shows up at 8 o'clock, plays with his opposite hand, and shoots under par!
I'm a bit amazed with this guy so I ask him, "You're a pretty good golfer, beating us with scratch golf and then showing-off by playing just as good with your opposite hand. Just what is you secret?"
He said, "Well...when I wake up in the morning and my wife is lying on her left side, I play left-handed.
Or when I wake up in the more...

One afternoon, there was this good witch who was flying along, when all of a sudden, she heard this soft crying from down below. When she landed, she saw this yellow frog. Touched by his sadness, the witch asked why he was crying. "Sniff. None of the other frogs will let me join in all their frog games. Boo hoo." "Don't cry, little one.", replied the witch, and with a wave of her magic wand, the frog turned green. All happy now, the frog was checking himself over when he noticed that his penis was still yellow. He asked an embarrassed witch about this, and she told him that there were some things that she just couldn't do, but if he saw the wizard, he'd fix things up for him. So happily, the little green frog hippity-hopped along his merry way. Feeling quite pleased with herself, the witch once more took to the skies, and once again, she heard some crying, but this time of a thunderous sort. So down to the ground she flew only to discover a pink elephant. The witch more...

Wanting to join a biker club, the old lady knocked on the door of a local club. A very large, bearded biker with tattoos covering his arms answered the door.
"I want to join your club," proclaimed the old lady.
Rather amused, the biker told her she would have to meet certain biker criteria before being permitted to join. "Do you have a bike?" he asked.
"Of course. There's my Harley right over there," she said, pointing to a Harley parked nearby.
"Do you smoke?" he asked.
"Sure do! Four packs of cigarettes a day and a few cigars while I'm playing pool," answered the old lady.
"Ever been picked up by the fuzz," the biker asked.
"No, but I have been swung around by the nipples a few times!" she replied.

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This promo is a limited offer... See your more...

Good News To All SmokersThe International Tabacco Syndicate, on its Golden Anniversary, wishes to invite Smokers of all ages to join in its biggest Anniversary Sweepstakes Draw, where every smoker is a sure winner! All smokers have the chance of winning the following major prizes.Grand Prizes: A Brand New Cancer, Bronchial Infection, Goiter, Sinusitis, Migraine, Cerebral Tumor, Paralysis, Hypertension, and AsthmaSecond Prizes: Special Hepatitis, Meningitis, BronchitisThird Prizes: Colored TB, Emphysema, Arteriosclerosis, Gingivitis, Rheumatism, Heart Disease, and Lung Cancer.You can also have a chance to win consolation prizes such as: Tartar Deposits, Bad Breath, Stained Teeth, Appetite Loss, and Swelled Gums.Join now!!! Remember that the more sticks you puff, the more chances of easy winning. Fabulous prizes await you!!! You can also be a lucky winner! Please claim your prizes at the nearest funeral parlor.This promo is a limited offer... See your X-Ray result for more details!!!

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a dustbin. Psychiatrist: Don’t talk such rubbish!
Be A Smoker!
Good News To All Smokers
The International Tabacco Syndicate, on its Golden Anniversary, wishes to invite Smokers of all ages to join in its biggest Anniversary Sweepstakes Draw, where every smoker is a sure winner! All smokers have the chance of winning the following major prizes.
Grand Prizes: A Brand New Cancer, Bronchial Infection, Goiter, Sinusitis, Migraine, Cerebral Tumor, Paralysis, Hypertension, and Asthma
Second Prizes: Special Hepatitis, Meningitis, Bronchitis
Third Prizes: Colored TB, Emphysema, Arteriosclerosis, Gingivitis, Rheumatism, Heart Disease, and Lung Cancer.
You can also have a chance to win consolation prizes such as: Tartar Deposits, Bad Breath, Stained Teeth, Appetite Loss, and Swelled Gums.
Join now!!! Remember that the more sticks you puff, the more chances of easy winning. Fabulous prizes await you!!! You can also more...