Jonathan Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Baptist preacher just finished his sermon for the day and proceeded toward the back of the church for his usual greetings and handshaking as the congregation left the church. After shaking a few adult hands he came upon the seven year old son of one of the Deacons of the church. "Good morning, Jonathan," the preacher said as he reached out to shake Joanthan's hand. As he was doing do he felt something in the palm of Jonathan's hand. "What's this?" the preacher asked. "Money," said Jonathan with a big smile on his face, "It's for you!" "I don't want to take your money, Jonathan," the preacher answered. "I want you to have it," said Jonathan. After a short pause Jonathan continued, "My daddy says you're the poorest preacher we ever had and I want to help you."

"Well, Jonathan, what are you going to do about the excess weight you're carrying around," the doctor asked.
"I don't understand it, Doc," Jonathan replied, "I just can't seem to lose weight. I must have an overactive thyroid."
"Jonathan, the tests show that your thyroid is perfectly normal," replied the doctor. "If anything is overactive, it's your fork."

"Well, Jonathan, what are you going to do about the excess weight you're carrying around?" the doctor asked.
"I don't understand it, Doc," Jonathan replied, "I just can't seem to lose weight. I must have an overactive thyroid."
"Jonathan, the tests show that your thyroid is perfectly normal," replied the doctor. "It's your fork that's overactive."

The Baptist preacher just finished his sermon for the day and proceeded toward the back of the church for his usual greetings and handshaking as the congregation left the church. After shaking a few adult hands he came upon the seven year old son of one of the Deacons of the church.

"Good morning, Jonathan," the preacher said as he reached out to shake Joanthan's hand.

As he was doing do he felt something in the palm of Jonathan's hand. "What's this?" the preacher asked.

"Money," said Jonathan with a big smile on his face, "It's for you!"

"I don't want to take your money, Jonathan," the preacher answered.

"I want you to have it," said Jonathan. After a short pause Jonathan continued, "My daddy says you're the poorest preacher we ever had and I want to help you."

One day after school Jonathan went to the pet shop and told the owner he wanted to buy a watchdog for his mother's birthday.

"How about this one?" said the salesman, pointing to a cage with a scrawny little poodle in it.

"Are you kidding?" said Jonathan. "That dog looks harmless."

"Yes, but he knows karate," said the salesman. "Watch." The salesman pointed to a huge cinder block and shouted "karate the block!"

Immediately, the poodle struck out its paw and with one blow smashed the block into two pieces.

Next, the salesman pointed to a metal chair, then commanded, "Karate the chair!"

Once again, the little poodle crushed the chair with a single blow.

That night Jonathan brought home the poodle and showed it to his father.

"What kind of watchdog is that to give your mother?" said Jonathan's father. "What good is more...