Jump Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde and a brunette jump off a building. Which one hits the ground first?
The brunette. The blonde had to stop and ask for directions.

Once A Math, A Science And A Chemistry Teacher Went For A Boat Ride In The Lake. Teacher Said "I Will Check Its Length And
Wideness And Jump Into It", She Did It. The Science Teacher Said "I Will Check Its Spead And Heat An Jump Into It", She Did
It. After Some Time The Chemistry Teacher Said "As They Both Have Not Poped Out, I Think They Have Dissolved!"

The head psyciatrist at a mental institution is preparing to give three patients an exam. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. Should they fail, they will remain institutionaized for an additional five years.
The doctor leads the three patients to a diving board overlooking a pool that doesn't contain any water and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps off the board into the pool and breaks both arms.
The second patient jumps and ends up breaking both legs.
The third patient looks over the side of the board and flatly refuses to jump.
"Congratulations!" You are now a free man," says the doctor. "Just tell me why you wouldn't jump."
"I can't swim, doc," replies the third patient.

There was this not too bright scientist doing a study on how frogs respond to commands.
He tells a frog to jump. The frog jumps 30 feet.
He writes in his log book, frog jumps 30 feet.
Then he cuts off one leg. He gives the same command to frog.
It jumps 25 feet. In Log: Cut off one leg, frog jumps 5 less feet.
He cuts off another leg.
Frog goes 20 feet. He records it in log book.
Then he cuts off the 3rd leg, commands frog to jump. Frog jumps 10 feet.
He writes, cut off 3 legs and frog now jumps 10 less feet.
Finally, he cuts off the last leg and commands frog, JUMP! Frog doesn't move an inch.
So the scientist writes in his book...
Cut off all 4 legs and frog GOES DEAF!

There was this not too bright scientist doing a study on how frogs respond to commands.He tells a frog to jump. The frog jumps 30 feet. He writes in his log book, frog jumps 30 feet.Then he cuts off one leg. He gives the same command to frog. It jumps 25 feet. In Log: Cut off one leg, frog jumps 5 less feet.He cuts off another leg. Frog goes 20 feet. He records it in log book.Then he cuts off the 3rd leg, commands frog to jump. Frog jumps 10 feet. He writes, cut off 3 legs and frog now jumps 10 less feet.Finally, he cuts off the last leg and commands frog, JUMP! Frog doesn't move an inch. So the scientist writes in his book... Cut off all 4 legs and frog GOES DEAF!

Three generals, one from the Army, another from the Marines, and a third from the Air Force, were having a debate with a Navy Admiral about whose soldiers were the bravest.

To prove his point, the Air Force general calls over an airman: "Airman! Climb that flagpole, and once you are at the top, sing' Wild Blue Yonder', and then jump off!"

"YES SIR!" replies the airman. He takes off for the flagpole like a shot, scales up it, sings the anthem, salutes and jumps off, hitting the ground at attention.

The general dismisses him. "Now that's bravery!" exclaims the general.

"Ah, that's nothing," says the Admiral, "Seaman!" A seaman appears, "YES, SIR!!" "Take this weapon," as he offers him an M14, "Scale that flagpole, balance yourself on top, stand at attention, present arms, and sing' Anchors Aweigh.' Salute each of us, and jump off.

"YES SIR!!" more...

Why did the Ape jump off the building? He wanted to show the world the stuff he was made of!