Kangaroo Jokes / Recent Jokes

A plane was shot down over Iraq and Saddam Hussain captured a Scotsman, an Englishman and an Australian. Saddam says, "I`m not as cruel as George Bush says I am. You will be given 50 lashes each, but you can have whatever you want on your back." The Australian goes first, and asks for the finest Kangaroo hide there is to cover his back. This is granted and he receives the kangaroo hide before he receives 50 lashes. His back is all torn and bleeding but he survives. The Englishman says, "I will take it as it comes, I will have nothing on my back and will be proud to bear the scars" he shouts defiantly "Stiff upper lip you know eh what." His wish is granted and he receives his 50 lashes, his back torn and bleeding, his ribs fractured and protruding, a terrible mess to behold. "Now Wee Hughie, it`s your turn, you have the same choice as the other two, what would you like on your back" says Saddam. Wee Hughie replies quickly and without hesitation, more...

Teacher: Whats this a picture of? Class: Dont know, Miss. Teacher: Its a kangaroo. Class: Whats a kangaroo, miss? Teacher: A kangaroo is a native of Australia. Smallest boy: Wow, my sisters married one of them

A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten foot fence. He was out the next morning, just roaming around the zoo.
A twenty foot fence was put up. Again he got out.
When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo,
"How high do you think they'll go?"
The kangaroo said, "About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!"

A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence.
He was out the following morning, casually roaming around the zoo.
A twenty-foot fence was erected. Again he got out.
When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?"
The kangaroo replied, "About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!"

Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother? For smoking in bed.

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo? A: Holes all over Australia.

You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the Kangaroo. What must you do to safely get out
of this highly dangerous situation?

If you do not know, scroll down to see answer below.
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GET YOUR drunk ass off the merry-go-round!