Kennedy Jokes / Recent Jokes

MICHAEL KENNEDY What's the difference between John Denver and Michael Kennedy? John Denver made it alive out of Aspen. Has Elton John re-written any of his songs for Michael Kennedy? Not yet, but he's done one about the tree: "I'm Still Standing" How can you be sure that Michael was really a Kennedy? Check the family tree. A simple accident? Some witnesses insist there was a second tree at the snow-covered knoll... What do Michael and JFK Jr's magazine "George" have in common? Wood pulp. New bumper sticker...." Plant A Tree.... Kill A Kennedy...." What will it take to reunite the four Kennedy brothers? A1: One more bullet. A2: A season lift pass.

What's the difference between John Denver and Michael Kennedy?
John Denver made it alive out of Aspen.
Has Elton John re-written any of his songs for Michael Kennedy?
Not yet, but he's done one about the tree: "I'm Still Standing"
How can you be sure that Michael was really a Kennedy?
Check the family tree.
A simple accident? Some witnesses insist there was a second tree at
the
snow-covered knoll...
What do Michael and JFK Jr's magazine "George" have in common?
Wood pulp.
New bumper sticker...."Plant A Tree.... Kill A Kennedy...."
What will it take to reunite the four Kennedy brothers?
A1: One more bullet.
A2: A season lift pass.

Q. Who really killed John F. Kennedy?A. Two hundred Italian sharpshooters.

'Twas the Newt Before Christmas
by Dean Bakopoulos
' Twas the night before Christmas and throughout the White House
Al Gore was eyeing Hillary, peering into her blouse.
The Secret Service men were guarding the premises with care,
for a whole host of Democrats were vacationing there.
Chelsea was nestled all snug in her bed
after locking out Mr. Kennedy and the dirty thoughts in his head.
And Bill in his sportcoat; a heavy grey tweed,
had just fried his brain with some Mexican weed.
When out in the garden came a plethora of noise,
all drunken and rowdy:' twas Gingrich and the boys!
Bill jumped to the window, and tore open the sash,
"It's a raid boys!" he cried, "Quick, go hide my stash!"
The pot in his blood and the moon on the snow
gave a psychedelic haze to the objects below.
When what to Bill's frantic eyes should appear,
but a slew of Republicans and a keg of ice beer,
with more...

What does Ted Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he had??
An ex-wife and a dead girl friend.

What does Ted Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he had? An ex-wife and a dead girl friend.

Patricia Lawford, sister of President Kennedy and ex-wife of actor Peter Lawford, died today at 82. This marks a first in the Kennedy family, as her death did not involve bullets, planes, or alcohol.......yet.