Knees Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two newlyweds went on their honeymoon and were getting undressed together for the first time. He took off his shoes and socks and his toes were all twisted and discolored."What happened to you feet?" his wife asked."I had a childhood disease called tolio.""Don't you mean polio?""No, tolio, it only affects the toes."He then removed his pants and revealed an awful looking pair of knees. "What happened to your knees?" she asked."Well, I also had kneesles.""Don't you mean measles?""No, kneesles, it only affects the knees."When he removed his shorts his wife gasped and said..."Don't tell me, you also had smallcox!"
One Sunday, a priest decided to skip church and go hunting in the nieghbooring forest. So while he was hunting he saw a gigantic grizzly bear the had stopped to get honey from a beehive. The priest thought the bear was good game, so he clumsily shot at it, and he missed. The bear, startled by the shot, jumped up and started charging at the priest. The priest used his only option: he dropped to his knees and prayed. "Dear God," he said, "Please let this bear be a good christian, a better one than I was." As the bear drew closer, is dropped to its knees and said, "Dear God, thank you for this meal I am about to receive."
Editor's Note: It's dry parody. You gotta really like sci-fi to enjoy this one...
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Experiment 8 Postflight Summary
NASA publication 14-307-1792
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ABSTRACT
The purpose of this experiment was to prepare for the expected participation in long-term space based research by husband-wife teams once the US space station is in place. To this end, the investigators explored a number of possible approaches to continued marital relations in the zero-G orbital environment provided by the XXXXXX shuttle mission.
Our primary conclusion is that satisfactory marital relations are within the realm of possibility in zero-G, but that many couples would have difficulty getting used to the approaches we found to be most satisfactory.
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INTRODUCTION
The more...
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeepers heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that hes on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?" She in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I dont fink my pet python weally gives a thit."
One night, a man on his way home happened upon a drunk, down on his hands and knees searching for something under a street light. The man asked the drunk what he was looking for so diligently and the drunk said he had tripped and his Rolex wrist watch had broken loose from his wrist. The man, being a kindhearted soul, got down on his hands and knees and began assisting the drunk looking for his watch. After about ten minutes without any success, the man asked the drunk exactly where he tripped. "About a half a block up the street," the drunk said. The man asked the drunk, "Why are you looking for your watch here if you lost it a half a block up the street?" The drunk replied, "The light is a lot better here."
A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp:
"Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"
The shopkeeper gets down on his knees (so that he's on her level), and asks:
"Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy black wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle brown wabby over there?"
The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice:
"I don't fink my pyfon weally gives a thit."