Korea Jokes / Recent Jokes

U.S. officials: N. Korea will be planning 2nd nuclear test. The third test will be on South Korea, and the fourth probably on China, maybe USA. Hey, when it gets to that point we will figure out something, said a a Senior White House Aide.

President Bush: If I knew there really was not any nuclear weapons in North Korea, and we could kick their ass and if they had something that would have made me and my friends very, very, rich like diamonds, oil, gold I would send the troops in like we were saving the world from Evil. But, since North Korea has a real nuke, and the leader is really evil and crazy and a real threat to the world. Screw it. We are not going.

North Korea said Monday it has performed its first underground nuclear weapons test. Sunglasses were still mandatory.
It's still unclear whether an actual test took place. The U.S. Geological Survey said it detected no seismic activity in North Korea, since North Korea is not in the U.S..

It seems that the Republic of Korea, under pressure, decided to hold
free and fair elections, U.S.-style. They decided to go all out: voter
registration drives, canvasses, polls, high quality voting machines
from the Chicago Voting Machine Company, the whole bit.
Anyhow, the campaigns were mounted, the elections held, the results
tallied, and sure enough, the new President-elect of the
Republic of Korea was Richard J. Daley.

You think about Korean martial arts everyday. You begin to sprinkle Korean words and phrases into your conversation. You have a Korean dictionary which you never use. When you see a magazine rack you quickly check for new martial arts magazines first and read the articles on Korean martial arts first. You always make it a point to check the martial arts section of the bookstore and look for Korean martial arts books first. You shop for clothes based on your ability to high kick in them. Adidas is your favorite sports clothing brand. You sewed your school patch onto your bathrobe. You tie your monogrammed bathrobe belt (which you never wash) into a square knot and then check to make sure the ends are exactly even. You open the refrigerator door with a roundhouse kick and shut it with a side kick. You develop a taste for Korean food and other Asian food as well. You develop an interest in Korean members of the opposite sex. You look more to your sabumnim/kwanjangnim for guidance and more...

There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big guy comes in and --WHACK!! -- knocks him clean off the bar stool and onto the floor. The big guy says, "That was a karate chop from Korea."
The little guy thinks "GEEZ," but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden --WHACK-- the big guy knocks him down AGAIN and says, "That was a judo chop from Japan."
So the little guy has had enough of this... He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves. The little guy is gone for an hour or so when he returned. Without saying a word, he walks up behind the big idiot and --Bong!!!-- bangs the big guy off his stool, knocking him out cold!!!
The little guy looks at the bartender and says, "When he comes to, tell him that was a crowbar from Sears."

North Korea has started reprocessing spent fuel rods to make weapons-grade plutonium. The country stated that unlike their recent failed rocket launch, they will not look foolish this time. An embarrassed N. Korea warned they now have the technology to re-launch their rocket, by using the plutonium to fuel a time traveling DeLorean.